After weeks of tension and strain, I finally let it all out and had a full-on meltdown last night.

I don't even recall what set it off.  I think it was something Dave said. 

I told everyone that I was going to go have a tantrum, went back to our bedroom, shut and locked the door and proceeded to throw things.  I yelled, I screamed, and I threw.  Candles, pictures in frames, books...I was somewhat selective and I left the irreplaceable stuff alone, but anything else was fair game.

I never realized the sound of breaking glass could be so theraputic  (I busted a couple of dollar-store picture frames), or that yelling out your frustrations really does help you let go of them.

After I was done, I was exhausted.  I sat on the floor next to the bed, crying for about half an hour...then I picked up the worst of the mess I had made, swept up the broken glass, and Dave and I went to bed.

This morning, I can think clearly again.  All the tension and anger and resentment that I'd been feeling is gone.  I feel SO much better......I can actually be objective about things instead of being angry about them.

I had a meltdown, and it felt really fucking good.