One of my biggest fears (and probably the biggest for most women) is to be raped. It is one of the scariest scenarios that I can even think of. Ever since Jr. High, the fear has gotten worse.
In All-County band in 8th grade, there was this guy. The guy was bigger for his age, he might have been held back a grade of two or was just “big” (as in with a little muscle). This guy (if I can recall) was also in All-County in 7th grade. He would always follow me and my friends around. Then when I was by myself, he was almost always there. He followed me and kept on talking to me when I was actually a little afraid of him.
It was the night of the concert and we had a break to get our formal clothes on. After I was done getting dressed (I was wearing my black skirt, heels and a white blouse) he was out in the hallway waiting. We walked to the stage where I met some of my friends (thank God). I had my feet dangling over the edge of the stage because there was nothing to do. He walked up to me, grabbed my ankles and flung my legs over my head. My skirt flipped up and everything. After I got my skirt down and all, I kicked him in the chest and ran off.
Now this is the part where friends can be so cruel.
It was after the concert and I was going to put my horn away. When I opened my case there was a napkin laying in there. On the napkin was, “I’m stalking you…”. I was so scared I went to my dad and I left right then. A week later Patrick and Chris came up to me and asked, “So, did you get that note?” Having said that I was like, “How did you know about that….” (They knew that guy wouldn’t leave me alone and wouldn’t stop following me but I don’t think I told anyone else about the note accept Alysha). They replied, “Ha-we put that in there!” … I could have ripped off their heads right about then.
That guy still scares me and I hope he doesn’t go to All-County anymore. I didn’t see him last year… so hopefully he’s gone.
I also had a dream recently.
There is this guy that is in my class. I cannot stand him. He annoys me just by the way he walks, talks, and acts. In my dream, I went into the school’s kitchen for something and he was standing in there. He came over to me, put his arms around me and was trying to kiss me… when I absolutely refused he was trying to take off my clothes and he was going to rape me (this is still a dream ok? : P) I was kicking and screaming and crying until I finally freed myself from him. I ran into the cafeteria and the high school was having lunch. I ran over to Jennifer and told her about it in tears… and then I woke up and I was crying in the middle of the night.
I have a hard time trusting guys… and they don’t understand that. They all know they are more powerful and stronger than a woman, so they CAN use that to their advantage.
That is still my biggest fear, and I pray no one ever tries to do that to me.
Sam
