Insert Sillyness Here

This lovely bit of fluffery is intended soley to bump this useless drivel into the forums. Which really is the proper place for such nonsense anyway.

Well, that or the landfill, and I hear it's full at the moment.

I don't know if you mean the silliest thing we can think of, or the silliest thing we've ever seen, so I'll just flip a coin and go with whatever wins... .Heads... That means "silliest thing I've ever seen... Which would have to be the palate loads of Candy Corns that somebody donated to the Hurricane Andrew Relief effort!

Come to think of it, that might be the silliest thing I can thing of also.... ;~D

Great idea for an article Mason!!!

Thanks ParaTed. That'll do, but I had in mind more of the silliest comments one could think of to deposit in this absurd thread. But then, what ya put conforms to the rules, so have at it.

1. Nothing hateful or derogatory about other bloggers. We already ahve enough of that.

Now that's silly itelf

My cat's breath smells like catfood.

That work for you?

#4 by Manopeace Thursday, May 19, 2005 1. Nothing hateful or derogatory about other bloggers. We already ahve enough of that. Now that's silly itelf

Can't imagine what you mean.
I was going to fix the typo when I first wrote the article and then decided, what the hell and just left it as is.

Dharma, if it works for you it works for me.

Straight from The Holy Grail:
WOMAN: Well, how did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake,... [angels sing] ...her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up, will you. Shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?

I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs;

Floating in the ocean? Bob

Lying on a door step ? Matt

Lying on a Barber Shop floor ? Harry

Sitting in a magazine rack ? Reid

Lying in a ditch ? Phil

Hanging on a wall ? Art

Hanging on the back of a sheep ? Sinbad

Absurd enough ?

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well
until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could
arrange a divorce for him - "very quick."

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions:


LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"

POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."

LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

POLE: "It made of concrete."

LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"

POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."

LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"

POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."

LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fi delity stereo set and good DVD player."

LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I always up before her."

LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"

POLE: "No, she white."

LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me."

LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"

POLE: "I got proof.

LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"

POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."

*Polish remover*

hehehehe

True Story:

I knew a guy who accidentally stabbed himself in the heart with an exacto knife. He was using it at work and asked a co-woker to put a new blade in for him. The co-worker did so and rolled the knife across the table to him. This genius said to himself, "I bet I can hit that with a hammer and stop it". He hit it with the hammer, the blade leaped into the air, slid right between his ribs and nicked his aorta. He was not a thin man, either, so I don't know how exactly that happened. I had the pleasure of telling his wife that the ambulance sirens we were hearing were for her husband. She just said "what did he do now???"

He was put in the hospital overnight with a bandaid on the infinitesimally small cut. It's amazing how much the heart can bleed from such a small cut.

Now I think THAT was silly.

The gimpywox flummoxed the lubbofomox in the riddomox of the apocomox

A poetry class had a contest. Each poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu." The winner was:

Tim and I a-camping went.
Took three girls and a tent.
They were three and we were two.
I bucked one and Timbuktu.

A man from Italy visits the US

One day Ima gonna to Detroit to a bigga hotel.
Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast.
I tella the waitress I wanna two piss's toast.
She bring me only one piss.
I tella her I wanna two pisson my plate.
She says you better no piss on the plate, you sonna na bitch.
I don't even know the lady and she call me a sonna na bitch.
Later I go out to eat at the bigga restaurant.
The waitress bring me a spoon and knife, but no fock.
I tella her I wanna fock.
She tells me everyone wanna fock.
I tella her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table.
She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna na bitch.
So I go back to my room ina hotel and there isa no shits ona my bed.
I calla the manager and tella him I wanna shit.
He tella me to go to the toilet.
I say you no understand, I wanna shit ina the bed.
He say you better no shit on the bed, you sonna na bitch.
I go to check out and manager at the desk say, peace to you.
I say piss on you, too, you sonna na bitch. I gonna back to Italy.

One of the silliest things I've ever heard:

During reading time, a student is furiously scratching his head with both hands.
I ask, "David, are you okay?"
He says, "Yeah, I think I have gingivitis."

umm...I am sure he meant dandruff...lol

The gimpywox flummoxed the lubbofomox in the riddomox of the apocomox

As my son would say..."the whawha?!)

(((Singing a solo round)))

A Trio of Rodents with Imperfect Vision
A Trio Of Rodents with Imperfect Vision
Observe How they Motivate
Observe How they Motivate
They Motivated Past the Agriculturalists Spouse
Who extracted the Flagella with an tool from a butchershop
Have you ever experienced such a phenomenon in your existence
As a Trio of Rodents with Imperfect Vision.

(((Everybody sing)))) ;~D

I sing like a bird. Typically a buzzard.

As my son would say..."the whawha?!)

He did say the More Monty Pythonesque the better (actually, it was more Lewis Carroll meets Dr. Seuss on an opium high, but hey, who's counting, right?).

Personally I enjoy nonsensical silliness. it's as apolitical as it gets, and it runs a low risk of offending ANYONE (and my kids have gotten used to it!)

Ted, Mason, Gid and Whip.....you guys are so silly Thanks for the laughs!!!

How in Hell's name did I manage to post such an absurd, Politically Incorect, collection of poor taste, and not catch the least bit of ire ?

As told to me by my son's preschool teacher.

She was walking past as my son Colt was playing with one of his friends during freeplay time. My son looks up at her as he was playing and asks her, "Have you smelled yourself lately?"

She told me that she didn't quite know how to respond so she smiled and told him no she hadn't.

She said that he is very smart and creative and always saying things like this that catch her off guard. But this was the one that kept running through her mind.

So let me ask all of you, "Have you smelled yourself lately?"