Blimey! I'm having dinner with these two! How am I going to avoid making some dreadful alcoholic faux pas?? I know...I'll just let them order everything and then nod, thoughtfully and knowingly...they'll never realise I have no bloody idea....

I just realised, is that the Marquis or Marquesa?

its very easy Wombie.. a few tips

Interesting nose
Quite complex
ahhhh
did I ever tell you about the time Wascally got caught in the tumble drier......

Well don't follow my lead I am renowned for foxes paws! (Especially after some drinkshhhhh....)

good point

LOL LOL LOL

Killa quietly read the latest posts, whilst listening to his Barbra Steisand and Shirley Bassey LPs. With some interest he saw 'The tales of the agent - part 8a'. Within seconds, the glass of De Boroli cask wine snapped in his clenched paw, and his venomous eyes narrowed in a truly gut-wrenching way. A thoughtful silence was swiftly followed by the manic tapping of a keyboard, as a fresh expose was crafted in order to be revealed to the general public. To be continued...

Hello boys.

Comment: How can we be up to post #500 already???

Secondly, ah, welcome to ah, Cupid (?).

Third, I haven't heard of Bleasedale wines since my RAAF days over a century ago.

Fourth, I'm on my cask wine, um, De Bortoli. But I did buy a bottle of the Plantagenet Pinot 2001 to cellar for a couple of days.

Fifth, I will now check to see whether I still have my sparkling grey medal or whether, as rumour has it, I have been displaced.

Sixth: amusing story Harel. Certain errors which I know if I make a point of pointing out, will further give you some small satisfaction, so I shan't. Just know that I know you know, and I know that you know that I know that you know. We'll leave it at that.

You guys have a good LOL time in Melbourne...I beg you though, keep an eye on sharky. Mrs Wombat and I do so worry about him...
[Message Edited]

for killa

The 2002 Plantagenet Cabernet Sauvignon has plenty of cassis/ leafy aromas and flavours. The palate with it's bright core of pure cassis fruit is classically cabernet with some cedary notes and fine leafy tannins. This is probably an early to medium cellaring style but it's drinking really well - even though it's yet to be released!

Sorry, welcome Ginata.

Jaws, that's why we worry about you. It's not humanly possible to have tasted so many wines. And if it's not released yet, then Quack has told you how it will taste in the future. Have you indeed tasted it? I had the Plantagenet Pinot last night and loved it, so got another bottle. I have to admit though, I can still drink plonk red during the week if I have to.

I've lost all the wine recommendations everyone made. But is there one delicious red that would be worth trying you could recommend. I have a special occasion coming up and would appreciate a tip...

Killa

The wines that are recommended to me now either through subscription or other I will not taste for about 3-4 years.. As much as I love wine I do not profess to be an expert, just an enthusiast and as I have said before I've been in oz for about 6 years and that has got me into a rotation situation where I now have approx 1,00o biottles.. My palate doesn't come close to lots of people. However anytime you want a sample feel free to ask..

As for the special red.. I'll email you

Harel Eilam 8a! That was genuinely funny, now what am I suppose to do with this Iron ball? Wrap it in cling wrap . . . ? Will that stop it rusting (semi serious question ponder ponder)? I can't wait to read the next installment!

I just wanted to say (eyes beguin to mist over) . . . Thankyou for your warm welcome guys and special thanks to Wombat for convincing me to join this mottly crew (it wasn't a hard decission) . . .

I'm still trying to cap a Huge game so I might check back later . . . oh and I do like the dress Koala, just remember to sit lady like, no Sharon Stone and Kenny Everet impressions in that little number . . . it's kinda to tight for that!

you know kenny everett? the you obviously realise the name cupid?

all done in the best possible taste

Welcome Monkson and Ginata!!!

I finally wrote my story. It's not very good by Special Forces standards, but I am attempting to open up a fresh genre that fits our theme...

Monkson - I wrote this last night before I checked the boards, so I'll get you in the next one.


Cypher

Sad to see the empire hopping starting all over again.

The Mass Drivers of Navarone:

The Prologue:
The situation in the Galactic War between the Allied Special Forces and the Euros looked grim. The Euro space was guarded by a group of heavily fortified systems known as the Pillars of Hercules. The Pillars surrounded an empty field of space known as the Club Med Sea. The only chance of assaulting the Pillars was to skirt through the Space Lane Straits and into the Club Med Sea. The Allies had lost billions of troop transports and battle ships attempting to break through the Strait.

The Pillars were guarded by Military Starbase 70 that was in orbit around the planet of Navarone. Military Starbase 70 had two huge mass driver cannons which where capable of shooting across the sea and destroying approaching ships. If the Mass Drivers could not be taken out, the Allies were doomed.

Chapter 1: (queue heroic music)
‘It’s a waste of six very good animals and two men, although I don’t suppose that matter’s very much, considering how many have been wasted already…still how knows? Pondered the Iron Paw, the commander of the Special Forces, Wild Wombat.

‘This mission will be so easy I hope I don’t fall asleep.’ interrupted Harel, obviously unimpressed with magnitude of what was being attempted.

‘So what are commandos are up for the latest obviously suicidal mission that we’ll somehow manage to pull off?’ asked the Wombat.

Obi Wan stepped forward, ‘It would be a honor to serve under you.’
Two birds, two bears, and a shark also volunteered to round out the crack unit.

Chapter 2: The Space Tuna Fishermen
Jaws had managed to procure a Euro mini-freighter that the crew had disguised as a Space Tuna fishing boat. The mini-freighter edged its way into the Club Med Sea.

The small fragile nature of the mini-freighter seemed to make everyone nervous except for Harel who occupied himself cleaning his knifes. The mini-freighter seemed to crawl toward Navarone. It would only be a short time until they landed on the space docks of a small fishing village on the Planet Navarone. From there, they could assault Military Starbase 70 by gaining access to the Space Elevator that supplied the station.

Just as they looked like they would make it, a Euro patrol ship hailed the Space Tuna Freighter.
‘Space Tuna Freighter – please halt.’

Killa grabbed the communicator and said something in it in Elvish.
The Euros engaged their Universal Translator and pulled their ship closer. Killa tried to convince them to leave, but they insisted on boarding.

Harel and Obi Wan stayed above deck and the animals all attempted to hide below deck. The Euro stormtroopers boarded and began searching.

‘StarKissed and Chicken of the Space canned tuna fish. What kind of the fishermen are you? Do you realize how much paperwork you’d have to fill out if we let you pull into port? ‘ The sadistic Euro officer screamed into Obi Wan’s face as he ordered his space marines to search the below decks. Obi Wan noticed with some trepidation that Harel had vanished. He Jedi sense told him that something horrible was able to happen.

“‘Chicken of the Space’ Tuna?” asked Cypher Pax. ‘You couldn’t have caught some fresh space tuna?’
‘Sorry’ Jaws shrugged his massive frame. ‘I didn’t have time…’
The two were interrupted by the Euro marines found them. Soon all the animals were rounded up and brought onto the main deck.

‘Sir, this ‘fishermen’ are smuggling wild animals with absolutely NO paperwork into the European Union. Failure to complete paperwork is punishable by death…’ the Space Marine barked.

Hurley waddled forward, ‘We’re not wild animals – we refuges. We’re victims of the GROSS pirates who subjected us to genetic modification. We claim amnesty. These poor fishermen knew nothing about us.’

The officer scratched his head in thought. Obi Wan cringed as he saw Harel coming back across the airlock from the Euro Battlehammer. Moments later, the mini-freighter was rocked as the Battlehammer exploded into a ball of flame.

Jaws quickly bit one space marine in half. Obi drew and struck down the Officer and another space marine with his lightsaber. Cypher Pax grabbed the final space marine and bear hugged him – and then spaced him through the now unconnected airlock.

Chapter 2: The Planetfall

‘Great, Harel! We’d you have to do that… Hurley could have talked us out of this… and the Euro fleet is going to notice their battle hammer blew up.’ Wombat hit the navigation console in frustration.

‘Wombat, there’s a solar storm coming… we took some damage to our shielding from the battle hammer explosion and the hull has taken enough damage that reentry may be a little dicey… and that’s the good news. The bad news is there are a frigate and a corvette in route to intercept us. We have to land quickly or we’re dead.’ The Quack yelled down from the bridge.

‘Now this is more interested.’ Harel muttered as the crew buckled down for a crash handing. Their lives were the webbed hands of their ace psychic pilot, The Quack.

‘I don’t know if I can hold her together, get ready for a rough ride. I’ll try to put her down in some water near the space elevator.’

The small mini-freighter was definitely not of a military-class, even when it was new. It began to break apart as soon as it hit the atmosphere. The Quack just hoped he could hold the ship together until the ship had decelerated enough to allow for an ejection.

The crew steeled themselves for the auto-eject procedure. Once clear of the ship they would have seconds to brace themselves for the impact of their individual escape capsules.

The reentry seemed to take hours, but it only lasted a minute or so – in that short period of time the cabin grew uncomfortably warm. The Quack hit auto-eject and the commandos were launched into the sea.

Unfortunately, there was a storm in the atmosphere and there was no chance to salvage any gear from the ship. The heroes would have to continue with only the equipment they carried.

After a dramatic struggle for survival with the angry sea, the Special Forces team assembled on the beach. The problem was that the space elevator was located 1,000 feet above. The team would have to tackle the sheer cliffs with no climbing gear.

Chapter 3: Climbing the Cliffs
The six brave animals and two brave men slowing inched up the cliffs in the middle of the night in a driving rain.

‘I could really do with a nice bottle of red, perhaps a Shiraz’ Hurley complained.
‘I know what you mean, you should come see the reds I have in storage… I have an ……AHHHH’ Jaws shirked as he felt plunging down the cliff. It looked like the shark was going to bite it, but instead he was able to bite onto a rock outcropping with his powerful, vice-like jaws.

Luckily, the team had Killa Koala with them. Killa might be small, but he is incredibly strong and a world-class tree climber and mountaineer. Killa tied the wounded Jaws to his backpack and climbed to the top without so much as breaking a sweat.

‘Leave me behind. I’m a fish out of water. It’s sink or swim time and I broke my tail fin, so there’s no way I can swim. Give me a grenade and I’m take out the patrol when they arrive.’ Jaws exclaimed.

‘Hmmm… Jaws. You’re don’t need to swim. The rest of the mission is on land.’ Replied the Iron Paw.

Jaws pulled himself up. ‘Okay, I think I can go… but I can’t put my pack on with the broken tail fin.’

Killa snuck off into the darkness and returned with two beautiful cloaked women.
‘Killa – Is that your sister and a strange, but beautiful mute woman?’ Cypher asked having déjà vu.
‘No, Cypher this is Cotal and the Marquesa. The Marquesa is mute because she has been tortured by those bloody Euros. They made her watch cricket and European cinema for two straight weeks… it was so awful, she’s temporarily lost her ability to speak.’ Replied the dashing Koala.
‘Can we trust them? Asked Cypher.
The Wombat vouched for them both, but the tension between him and the Marquesa was as thick as the fog that had rolled in.

Chapter 4: My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Strangely, there was a small Greek village flanking the space elevator. Cotal the master of hiding in plain sight, had suggested they hide in at a Greek wedding ceremony. A Greek wedding was the perfect place for a pack of animals to hide.

Amazingly enough, the Euro soldiers eventually crashed the wedding. The heroes fled to a house, but were quickly captured. The incompetent Euro patrols attempted to interrogate them on the spot, but were quickly overpowered.

It was clear that the Marquesa had betrayed them. After a tearful farewell, between Wombat and Marquesa, Cypher was given the task of the taking care of the Marquesa.

Cypher returned and said, ‘I threw the Marquesa off the cliff to her certain death. She will never betray us again’

Killa replied, ‘What are you thinking… don’t you read my stories? You can’t allow a super villain to meet an ambiguous fate, no matter how unlikely it is that she could have survived… Oh, well… it’s done now.’

A general alarm sounded and Euro troops were swarming out of the space elevator. The Euro troops were no match for the Mistress of Disguise, Cotal. Cotal is capable of eluding entire empires without notice, and she hide the Special Forces by having them dress up in Euro soldier outfits. They escaped into the hills. It was getting later into the night and the Special Forces would have to act quickly as they even Cotal’s skills could not hide them once day broke.

The Special Forces made a plan. The POSSE would create a diversion in the village so that Harel and Obi Wan could sneak up the Space Elevator and into the Starbase.

Chapter 5: The Diversion

Cypher Pax and Jaws laid down heavy suppressive fire at the entrance of the town’s garrison. Killa Koala and Wombat stole vehicles from the motor pool. The Quack and Hurley tried to persuade the townsfolk to rise up in a vicious uprising.

Cypher and Jaws retreated. The Euros were in for a long night of hit and run guerilla tactics. Soon the Euros called in reinforcements from the Starbase.
Now the Special Forces could handle 12-1 odds, but not 20-1 odds – particularly once Cypher and Jaws mini-guns ran out of ammo as Gerakken predicted it would.

The cornered animals were desperate. They might escape out of town in a troop truck, but one of them would have to stay behind. Cypher Pax volunteered as he still had the ammo in his bandolier. The Special Forces shed a tear as they sped off, they could have heard Cypher Pax going down in a blaze of glory.

Chapter 6: Starbase 70

Obi Wan and Harel strode confidently up to the doors of the space elevator. Obi waved his hand at the two guards and said,
‘We’re not the droids you are looking for.’

The guard looked puzzled and said, ‘You’re not droids.’
This pause was long enough for Harel to draw his pistols and shot both of the guards. Obi Wan and Harel where able to ascend the space elevator and infiltrate the fortress.

Obi Wan snuck off to disable the shield generator, while Harel would plant the explosives on the Mass Driver guns. Harel only had enough explosives left to blow up one of the guns as planned – but he thought he had an alternate idea that might work.

Just as we was finishing placing the charges, Obi Wan rejoined him in the main hanger of the Starbase. Just as the two had completed putting on the Euro space jetpack suits, a dozen Euro soldiers burst into the chamber. Obi’s lightsaber and Harel’s pistols made short work of the Euro cannon fodder.

Obi and Harel stole a Euro Corvette after firing a couple of anti-matter missiles at the hanger doors, the Corvette managed to slide out of the Starbase moments before the Euro soldiers could set up the Fusion Machine Gun and vaporize them


Chapter 7: The Mass Drivers of Navarone

The POSSE knew that they had reached the end up the line. The truck had run out of gas and they were out of ammo and soon to be surrounded by the Euros.

Hurley looked to the sky and knew that his end was near. A corvette was streaking toward them. To his delight and surprise, the corvette began to strafe bomb the Europeans, who quickly scattered.

Obi Wan quickly put the Corvette down and picked up the grateful Posse. The Corvette raced into space, but to their horror the space station was still operation and the great Mass Driver guns were being rotated toward them. In moments, there lives would be over.

‘Don’t worry,’ muttered Harel.

On the Starbase:‘Commander, we found explosives near the guns. That must have been what they are up to.’ The officer reported.

‘Excellent work. Destroy them…. Those pathetic animals will trouble us no more. I can’t wait to tell this story in the bunker.’ Replied the officer with an evil-laugh.

The officer relied the order to fire. It would be his last words his troops had only found Harel’s decoy charges. The real charges had been divided so that they would detonate when the gun was fired, causing the mass drivers to misfire. The misfire caused a massive explosion of the nearby ammo dump, which would cause an inferno, which would incinerate the Starbase in seconds.

The Special Forces had succeeded. They would live to fight another day. (Queue triumphant music)

Notes:

1. Any similarities between this story and a classic 1961 movie with an incredibly similar name and storyline are completely coincidental.
2. Starbase 70 could have been taken out with an Anti-matter missile, but that would be so much less exciting than a suicide mission.
3. No actual animals were harmed in the making of this story, though actual Euros were… however, PETA is no likely to boycott over a couple of dozen Europeans.
4. Cypher Pax was not actually killed. He claims he was carrying regenerators, and upon being heavily wounded, taking them put him in a state of hibernation, which the Euros mistook for death. He later singlehandedly took over a Dreadnought and piloted it to freedom. According to Gerakken, Cypher wasn’t wounded and instead drank a bottle of J.D. that put him in a hibernation-like state, which the Euros mistook for death. He later made his way through European space on bar took where he posed as the original Bundy Bear. Monkson then ‘rescued’ him for a resort in the city of Port Olympic on the planet of New Barcelona. He was later swore to silence...

Thanks for the warm welcome team! I knew there was a reason why I didnt sleep good last night; you guys were having too much fun here! All night by my time. Ginata, also welcome to club! Cypher - no problem. Is there a website for this empire?

~SDC~

D.J MC7 Here at W.G.C.P.H. to play you a remake of the old CLASSIC by LIVING COLOUR.
Now to play there version of Cotal PERSONALITY ( I Perfer the original ).

Look into my eyes, what do you see?

A Cotal Personality
I know your anger, I know your dreams
I've been everything you want to be
I'm the Cotal Personality
Like Harel Eilam and Kennedy

I'm the Co tal Per son al ity
I'm the Cotal, I'm the Cotal, I'm the Cotal
I'm the Cotal, I'm the Cotal, I'm the Cotal
Personality!

Neon lights, the G.C.Prize

The Mirror Speaks,the reflection lies
You don't have to follow me
Only you can set me free

I sell the things you need to be
I'm the smiling face on your T.V.
I'm the Cotal Personality
I exploit you, still you love me
I tell you one and one makes three
I'm the Cotal Personality
Like Evil Steve and Gandi

I'm the Co tal Per son al ity
I'm the Cotal, I'm the Cotal, I'm the Cotal
I'm the Cotal, I'm the Cotal, I'm the Cotal
Personality!

Neon lights, the G.C.Prize

A leader speaks,MM77 dies
You don't have to follow me
Only you can set you free

You gave you fortune
You gave you fame
I gave you power in your god MM77 name
I'm every person you need to be

I'm the Co tal Per son al ity
I'm the Cotal, I'm the Cotal, I'm the Cotal
I'm the Cotal, I'm the Cotal, I'm the Cotal
Personality!


WELCOME BACK!

P.S. Keep those guys in LINE.

so says the New Jedi Order

ooops back to the Jedi Republic again

OUCH!

Sorry MM77 .... but ever heard of the saying The Pot calling the Kettle Black

Thats why i said OUCH!

I understand... you are deeper than you let on

I'm TRYING to be REAL NICE in this CLUB I have lots of friends here.

And if I'm being myself I may OFFEND someone.

So I think like I'm at my GRANMOTHER'S HOUSE were I love to be at, BUT must watch what I say around HER.

( Can't wait to play with my friends at the Play House. ) sorry Granmother.





[Message Edited]