Salt pork is very important in Elemental: War of Magic. Consider this transcript smuggled out of the enemy's secure lock box archive:
... Oh, my minister of defense just took the floor in Council. Being a somewhat forbearing SOV (not SOB), I permitted Dr Strangelove to speak about an item not on the agenda. The rising threat from the combined Fallen creatures was obviously not inflated.
Doc was so emotional - but still clear witted, as always. He brought to our attention the totally overlooked shifting of strategic power between us and the Fallen. They have been amassing a strategic asset, and we have not.
"There's a strategic gap in our plans of Defense. We must address it," doc implored. Everyone chorused in unison "A gap?"
"Yes we have a salt pork gap. The fallen have been stockpiling pork, We have fallen way behind, and when the gap is big enough... why my calculations indicate that their stockpile of pork is way bigger than ours."
Minister of Public Relations interrupts defense Minister, inserting his dry prose: "Sir, are you saying that their pork is getting way to big and inflated, and our pork is tiny by comparison?
"Well, yes, " Doc replies roundly, "The long and short of it is this; we are getting way behind. I am afraid that critical mass may already have been achieved. The fallen have amassed such quantities of salted pork that they have strategic superiority over our inflated holdings of salt pork. They are approaching critical mass. In a matter of weeks, perhaps days, they will have enough pork to safely commit a first strike against us...and remain standing while we are driven into the ground upon which we stand."
PR Minister interrupts again, holding back a chuckle: "When have the fallen ever committed to anything?"
"The DOC's right," interjected the Commandant of ASGIER Command, the Air Shard Global Insertions, Extractions, and Rescues.
"We have fallen on hard times, it seems," a quiet voice whispered from the center of the Conference table. "This salt pork gap must be closed. We must grab as much salt pork as we can so the Fallen ones won't ever be able to succeed in a first strike against us." The quiet voice intoned, "The pork gap must be closed. Our strategic reserve must be aggrandized. I command you to make our pork reserves bigger. Also, in our PR broadcasts, inflate our pork."
The entire council immediately rose to the occasion, jumped out of their chairs, and began chanting; "Get more pork. Get more pork."
DOC raised his voice, "Close the gap, make our pork stockpile the biggest on the planet. Then those fallen SOBs will never got the drop on us. We are saved. Hail the wisdom of our glorious SOV." ...
Elemental Forums
And just HOW many different types of food do you think there IS up there in the frozen wasteland known as Michigan....
