You dont see that? Theres this: ááá at the begining of each paragraph. Maybe its just on my end.

You could always say he has two sons...

yeah I'm not seeing it...what browser are you using? Firefox is the only one the forums works for me.

true true

yeah, maybe you could have his 10 year old son killed during the Fall of Neave?, cos i think Neave was probably dead... with all those radiances in orbit lol

Naeve was likely the headquarters of the Aluxian Dynasty, but not the Trade Council.  The TC was not destroyed by the AD was.  So, it is likely that the capital for everything was moved to some other planet...

Then again, it is the narrator talking, so he must have survived so they more than likely won that battle, or at least managed to evacuate...

well, the aluxide dynasty fell to political turmoil caused by the vasari invasion, their headquater where on Neave, they managed to evac *some* people, remember this is Admiral Kol, they probably got the high rankers out and think about it, they had many many many readiances out there, i think the Advent would really attack any force the traders could send, remember all their ships where out on the Vas front. any ships would have been in for repairs or refit, or newly built, so we have several hastily patched together warships, a few  new inexpierenced crew against the might of the Advent fleet, remember, this is where they attacked first so they probably had a very big fleet there, i dont think the traders could win

they won't. ha.

RIP TEC

I just wish people would write more stories about TEC victories... both Saints and Sinners has the TEC dieing like sheep walking into a meat grinder. I mean come on! The TEC were only weak when the Vasari first struck! By the time the Advent came they had become the World War II equivalent of the United States. Not only does the TEC produce ships much faster but by the first decade of conflict, they have ships that can go toe to toe with their Vasari counterparts.

My point is that it gets a little boring when I read of yet more TEC defeats. Everytime Saints updates I get the same "Oh they're so much better than we are, but if my name isn't Kol I'll try!" Let's see those Advent a little fearful! Whats that!? I think I hear the Vasari quivering in their shells.

but Sinners isn't at the point where the Advent come in! And the TEC don't always lose in Sinners, either, they've had a pretty matched history. In the chapter where the Jackal is burnt (called Fire, ha) the TEC get a major win. But it's still when the Vasari first struck in my book, so the TEC are still a little disoriented.

Plus, when there are battles in my story, they're usually between a much larger force against a much smaller force, the way I usually see it in SOASE. So, if the TEC is going up against a larger force, they're gonna die. No question.

Sorry that nothings been going on for a while, but I'm editing part 1 when I find the time. Almost done though, once the first of three revision checks is completed I can start part 2 while the other revision checks are completed by others (check 2/3 has already begun technically). Basically, part 2 is starting soon! All I need to do is finish with chapters 8 and 9 and then part 2 will start.

YAY

Read it all. Enjoyed it all.

I think i read every single post and it was all very exciting.

One suggestion i have is to alienize the Vasari more. In one part of your story, one vasari called another vasari a man. I'm just wondering if they could be more Alien, instead of having some of the same mannerisms and expressions.

That's it. Good luck with the next part of the story.

what chapter? i was looking out for that and correcting them but i must have missed one. can u quote it for me?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEWS UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the first of my three revision checks for part 1 has been completed, which means I can now begin writing part 2! Expect chapter 10, part 1 sometime during the next week. I'll have to fit it in between my summer homework, so it'll still be a few days. But it's coming! Chapter 10, part 1 will introduce you to the Da'Mani'k (read chapter 9,3 over again if you don't recognize that word) and the lifestyle of the Mani'k. Should be pretty exciting.

now for some Sinners-as-a-novel updates. After I post this I am going to write a letter to Ironclad asking for future permission to publish this. If they say yes before I write 10,1, sorry, but you won't get it. If they say yes afterwards, I'll remove everything except for chapters 1-3 in preparation for serious novel-writing. Also sorry, but that's how it'll have to be. But if they don't say yes, then there's no problem! I'll continue to post for your guys' enjoyment.

Sinners is currently:

104 pages

37,846 words

Referrals are as follows:

152 - google.com

28 - sinsofasolarempire.com

18 - yahoo.com

16 - tvtropes.com

10 - stardock

3 - impulsedriven.com

2 - bing.com

2 - feedburner.com

1 - demigodthegame.com    (.....i dont see how that one works)

1 - eonpal.com

i'd also like to thank everyone who has commented on this thread. If you notice the new change to the forum title, it says Sinners has never been off the first page of the SOASE forum, and it's due to everyone on here who has commented. You kept this thread alive, and you kept my spirits interested in writing more. You helped me evaluate my work, refine and craft it, and sparked some real brainwaves for me. Without you all, literally, this story would never be. So, again, big thanks to everyone who's commenting and if you're not commenting COMMENT! Even if its just a 'hey i really like the last chapter all right cya.' It tells me that you're reading my story and enjoying it, and that inspires me to write more. so commenting=happiness=more writing=your enjoyment=commenting. Join the great Circle of Life! (just saw lion king again yesterday, i love that movie.)

EDIT: ok, the email to ironclad is out! lets see what they decide....

EDIT EDIT: all right, another thing i forgot to mention. my computer is having serious problems, and all of my programs except for jarte, internet explorer, and firefox do not work. So that means galaxyforge too, which means I don't know where any of the planets are. Which means I can't write new chapters, since, as I mentioned a while ago, all the galactic positions are the position they are in galaxyforge. I'm waiting on Toshiba to send me restore disks, but until then I cannot write more and they're being a bitch about it, so it could be a couple weeks. (apparently, the people who manage the disks only work from 8-5). So nothing new until my computer gets restored. Hang tight.

i really love this fanfic... and sorry about your comp... we should riot over at Toshiba or something and force them to give ya the restore disks lol, ill get the torches and pitchforkes hehehe

ill get the lighter fluid!

I'll get the matches

ill sharpen the pitch forkes

I'll get the grinding wheel (and not cut my thumb off this time...  Seriously, last time I tried sharpening a sword, I cut a good chunk of my thumb off...  Nicked an artery, so it bled a lot...  It eventually healed, but now I have a giant scar going down the side of my thumb...)

ouch...... nasty perhaps you should get the erm.. torches?

Great these guys have awesome lives, theyr working maybe an hour a week. Have to wait until Monday before the guy i need to reach decides to step into his office.....iv been waiting since wednesday. all just for a set of recovery disks that probably wont even work in my busted-up computer.

*finds guy with recover disks*

me: disks now or you die

Guy: no

Me:fine

*carnage*

So after another hour on the phone the restore disks will be shipped to me within 10 business days.

So around 2 weeks before you get another taste of Sinners. So sad.

Also, they tried to charge me $35 for "tech. and troubleshooting assistance." since when do companies charge money for support?!?

Damn toshiba.