resistance is trying not to smack your 3 year old for laughing

while she does it

resistance is Woody keeping his pecker in his pants so the missus cant see it

 Geriatric road rage! What, Storm...were you in Florida? 

Love your Walls, Storm!  

 no my local supermarket even the cashier laughed she came out of no where

Resistance is Patriotic.

Getting run over by the old lady.

Resistance is the fact that they don't make those electric shopping scooters at the super mfarket fast enough for me.  Look out Storm here she comes!

Resistance is... reaching for one of the two remaing items on a supermarket shelf and have an old lady snatch them both and walk away cackling like an old witch.

Yup, that really happened to me... I was a sole parent and needed a packet of Huggies for my daughter... what was more annoying was that she didn't even want/need them and put them on a shelf in another aisle.

So resistance... er, revenge was telling the checkout girl: "You need to check that lady behind me over, I saw her putting items in her pockets, down her top and in her bag."

Ahhhhhhhhh....oui, oui....sal starkers th' pyrate strikes again!

Love those dirthy tricks! Here's one: Duck out into the parking lot and stuff a potato up her car's tail pipe. starkers: please note the bold text...or LadyPirate will take care of your tail pipe!

Resistance is a potato up your tail pipe.

Hehe, done that one many a time... used to get the teachers at school often with that one.

Here's another:  When dad, Dave (the bloke mum remarried to) and I worked on this building estate, everyone was in a mad rush on Fridays to get in their cars first and be at the pub before it got crowded and busy.  Well the foreman, George, was always first away and first in the pub... except the day we lifted the rear of his car and put bricks under his rear axle.  Poor bugger was revving away and going nowhere... by the time he had extricated himself and got to the pub we were already on our third pints... hehe.

Hopefully not with a potato... it'd be right embarrassing at the proctologist's: "And, sir, were you planning to grow more from this  one????"

 I know a few gay men who would disagree with that statement...damn, there goes any chance I had for Mr. Nice Guy award 2008!

Resistance is what I seem to lack when these off color jokes hit  me.  Sorry.

Resistance is a friend not helping a friend.

A friend asked me how I had so much luck with the ladies at the beach, so I told him I put a potato in my suit and they just come running.  The next weekend I saw my friend and he was mad as hell.  He said he tried my method and all the girls ran the other way, so I ask him to show me how he was doing it.  I said no, no, you put the potato in the front.

 Look out Storm here she comes!

thank goodness she didn't have one of those  Angus i would have ended up in my shopping cart

resistance is trying not to look bored when your good friend goes on and on about the very thing she just told you a week ago

She can probably hide her own Easter eggs too.

Belongs in the reundancy thread.

Worse? Pray he doesn't make Chips (British usage) of it while it's still in.

And your promotion.

 Angus just slayed Doc.

Twice!

I put it that way so people didn't think she was marrying for the first time.... and I was a bastard.

Besides, I can achieve that all on my own without bringing into question my parent's marital status.

If I remember correctly, that's the last word my first wife said to me when she said that she was leaving, and I gave her enough for a one-way fare.

Resistance is being polite to hateful people!

Good on ya mate! (1K karma)

How true... being polite costs nothing and can defuse an otherwise unpleasant situation.

That's why when she'd ask me if the pants made her butt look fat, I'd say: "Of course not, dear, I just think they mixed up the labels at the factory and you unknowingly picked up a pair a couple of sizes too small."

So resistance was... not coming out with the first answer that crossed my mind... unlike the time she asked if I thought she had saggy breasts, and I said: "How the hell should I know, you're the one with bruised kneecaps."

In my eyes you have achieved the impossible! More karma than Zubaz!

Why do they ask those questions, they have a mirror don't they?  It's a control thing using guilt, like when they ask "Do you still love me".  What are you going to say "No I never did"?

I would resist saying that by the way.

Resistance is failure: It's result? No you know what.

All right, back to basics.

Resistance is              

And just so's he doesn't catch up to me....

Resistance was... not saying "I'd blindfold his seeing eye dog and break his white cane" when she asked what I'd do if  she was seeing another man.

Well I bought some so's I didn't have to answer those questions, but you guessed it... she cracked 'em.

Nah, she wasn't that bad.  We got a couple of good looking kids... and not all their good looks came from me, if any.

ok i've stopped laughing now you're right Angus her eggs and mine

resistance is not asking my husband does that make my butt look big

i'm sure i wouldn't like his answer