I have a secret superpower

but it isn't all that powerful

It’s true, I have took the blue pill, and entered into a world of secret knowledge and power. Long, long ago, in a far away and strange but beautiful land, (Monterey, Ca), the army spent entirely too much money to put me through a Korean language class at DLI To this day, I have no idea why, as I have yet to use it outside of training, but I’m still grateful for two years in Monterey, tofu and all, and since then I’ve used my piss poor Korean skills as a sort of geeky superpower, here’s some of the fun.

 

Catching the kid at the grocery store, who thinks it’s funny to cuss the white guy when he can’t understand.

 

Sending said kid crying back to parents when you return the favor.

 

Always getting the best stuff from CIF (Central Issue Facility)  without resorting to bribery.

 

Translating at the request of family…..provided it’s not Japanese, Chinese or god knows what else….but Asia’s just one big country to them anyway, right?

 

Yes, they’re talking about you, nuff said.

 

My drycleaning always comes back perfect.

 

Startle the s*^& out of “Chinese” resteraunt waiters

 

Being able to travel in Korea without help….much….

 

Being able to go to a bar in Korea that doesn’t have 500 other GI’s in it.

 

Making lots of cool Korean friends all over the globe….they’re awesome people

 

Not my best, but Sheebool chok caht nay….(be careful who you get to translate this, someone young and not too prudish)

Nobody Special signing off……

16,825 views 39 replies
Reply #1 Top

I think that's f-ing cool!  I'd love to be able to startle the shit out of the Korean ladies that yard sale on Saturday mornings...actually, I'd really like to know what they're saying!

I can speak french (I'm the translator for Ellsworth)...but it doesn't do me much good in the US.

Reply #2 Top
I used to do the same with Spanish in So Cal. I love it when hispanic people look at all the whities and start speaking Spanish so no-one will know what they are saying. hehehehehe. Somehow I always resisted telling them, "Unos gringos hablamos español."

I wish I could speak as many languages as I can read or understand when spoken.
Reply #3 Top
Neat post. This super power would be of particular advantage when trying to explain how I want my kids' hair cut at the barbershop on the base!

Personally, I know pig latin. This would be an 80's style super power both rad and wicked awesome in nature. Ayway adray, on'tday ouyay inkthay?
Reply #4 Top
Awesome......now, all we need is a league of justice, and we can have our own cartoon called semi-super friends...
Reply #5 Top
I'm in. I can be InsanelyUncoordinated-Girl and I can confuse evil doers with my pig latin and then accidentally trip over them until they are beaten into submission. And I think I'll have a pink cape. Sound good?
Reply #6 Top
Right, and I'm Disgruntled GI Guy, I'll just force them to join my unit, where they'll be crushed by the low morale, and never able to escape.....Anyone else?
Reply #7 Top

I want to be 'stupor girl'.  I can distract people with my awful french, all the while gassing them slowly into a stupor with my odiferous garlic breath.  I'll wear a red beret and have a string of garlic bulbs hanging around my neck - ooh, and those can be my back-up weapon.  If the breath doesn't stupify them, a well aimed bulb of garlic will!!

Reply #8 Top
Would the garlic breath be snail-related?
Reply #9 Top
I'll be... er... pseudosoldier, actually. Kinda already outlined this in my first blog, but... You know how Captain America got the supersoldier serum? Mine wasn't as good. So, I'm kinda tough, and kinda strong, and I kinda have morals that Americans should emulate...
I, too, am handicapped by the intense pressure of negative morale.
Reply #10 Top
Someone in our gang has to wear underwear outside of their clothes and colored tights, but it's not going to be me . . .
Reply #11 Top
Catching the kid at the grocery store, who thinks it’s funny to cuss the white guy when he can’t understand. Sending said kid crying back to parents when you return the favor.


This one is always good.

Always getting the best stuff from CIF (Central Issue Facility) without resorting to bribery.


That's right. You also get to turn stuff in without much problem and without a bottle of whiskey.

Being able to go to a bar in Korea that doesn’t have 500 other GI’s in it. Making lots of cool Korean friends all over the globe….they’re awesome people


Two of the best benefits.
Reply #12 Top
now, all we need is a league of justice, and we can have our own cartoon called semi-super friends...


I can be the teams resident time manipulator... My power will be to start talking and before you know it, you've lost two hours of your life.
Reply #13 Top

Would the garlic breath be snail-related?


Yes, it would. 

Reply #14 Top
I'll be Authoritative Man, who can answer any question (especially rhetorical ones) with such finality that the answer is assumed to be correct.
Reply #15 Top
Great.....you're all in, now all we're short on is villians of mediocrity.....SSG Spadde comes to mind.
Reply #16 Top

Someone in our gang has to wear underwear outside of their clothes and colored tights, but it's not going to be me .


Hang on a sec, who's wearing the tights and knickers?  InsanelyUncooridinated-Girl and I have our outfits already....so it's between chiprj, pseudo, and nobody special.  I know who gets my vote.....

Reply #17 Top
Hang on a sec, who's wearing the tights and knickers?


OK, I gotta call 'not-it' on this one. To paraphrase greywar -- I look like 200 pounds of chewed bubble gum. No way you want to see that in tights without a full body cape and some invisiblity kicked in.
Reply #18 Top
I have a strict "no spandex without legitimate superpowers" policy. Not even under my PT shorts. I think you're baiting us with the "vote" thing. You've only seen that one blurry picture of grey, and none of me or chip (AFAIK, anyway).
Reply #19 Top

. I think you're baiting us with the "vote" thing. You've only seen that one blurry picture of grey, and none of me or chip (AFAIK, anyway).


Baiting?  Moi?? *bats eyelashes*..why, I'd never do such a thing!


I have seen a pic of chip, with his doggies.  None of you or nobody though.


It looks like it's nobody by default that gets to wear the spandex......

Reply #20 Top
Damn......well......why not? Lord knows I could use the support.....and dharma's garlic breath will come in useful if we run into any life sucking reenlistment NCO's....blehbleh.....dance my children of the night......
Reply #21 Top
I have seen a pic of chip, with his doggies.


I realized it's bad juju to advertise my own blog in someone else's comments section, but there is a better picture available for viewing in my Universal Studios article right now. If I did the link right, then you can see the pic in the article, if not, then just follow the link and you can see it in my yahoo photo book.

Related, though, my wife, in my opinion, would look great in a spandex outfit, though... maybe I can talk her into one...
Reply #22 Top

and none of me


Speaking of which.....have you managed to come up with one yet?  You too, Nobody.....

Reply #23 Top
So funny! I know an evil doer that deserves our attention: "Numbtoes" - a neighbor who didn't deploy due to a serious medical condition (two numb toes). His evil powers include the ability to mercilessly curse out a child who has the audacity to not finish an apple (we all know how very expensive those are!) and poor judgment of monumental proportions that drive him to dump his three young children off on a neighbor (whose spouse has recently deployed) so that he and his super villian wife, "Thumbsucker" can spend the night drinking and groping each other until they vomit. Who's with me in the fight for justice against "Numbtoes" and "Thumbsucker"?
Reply #24 Top

Who's with me in the fight for justice against "Numbtoes" and "Thumbsucker"?


I'm in!

Reply #25 Top
But are you sure I'd look good in spandex? Link No, really I look just like that.......right.......