Killing A-Holes at the Barnes & Noble
The Council of War Begins
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With impending financial doom in our near future, Jennifer held a war council at the local Barnes & Noble, planning to read Christian money management guides, even though I'm neither good at managing money, nor Christian.
We agreed to meet at the magazine section, on the third floor. Jennifer reads "The New Yorker"; I read "Computer Gaming World". The up escalator to the third floor was broken, so I had to walk up. There was a man walking up right in front of me, along with a guy walking down the broken escalator. The Miss Manners part of my personality (which is also concerned with Slow Walkers and Door Blockers) noticed that the descending gentleman would have been more polite to take the down escalator, which was working just fine. Downbound Guy was screwing up the ascending flow of traffic, for no reason.
Well, nothing to hold a Star Chamber session over or anything... or at least I didn't think so; but the man walking up right in front of me freaked out.
He started screaming at the guy walking down.
"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON THIS ESCALATOR?"
The Screaming Man moved to the side, ran down the escalator, past me, chasing Downbound Guy. I moved quickly off the escalator and away from Screaming Man, who was kind of scaring me. Meanwhile, everyone on the third floor was turning their faces toward me, and I wanted it to be clear that I was in no way involved.
Jennifer was there on the third floor. As I stepped over to her, I explained that technically The Screaming Man was in the right, and that Downbound Guy had committed a faux paux by using the wrong escalator.
Right then, we heard, "YOU COULD KILL SOMEONE YOU ASSHOLE!"
Jennifer: "Seems like an overreaction."
We agreed to meet at the magazine section, on the third floor. Jennifer reads "The New Yorker"; I read "Computer Gaming World". The up escalator to the third floor was broken, so I had to walk up. There was a man walking up right in front of me, along with a guy walking down the broken escalator. The Miss Manners part of my personality (which is also concerned with Slow Walkers and Door Blockers) noticed that the descending gentleman would have been more polite to take the down escalator, which was working just fine. Downbound Guy was screwing up the ascending flow of traffic, for no reason.
Well, nothing to hold a Star Chamber session over or anything... or at least I didn't think so; but the man walking up right in front of me freaked out.
He started screaming at the guy walking down.
"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON THIS ESCALATOR?"
The Screaming Man moved to the side, ran down the escalator, past me, chasing Downbound Guy. I moved quickly off the escalator and away from Screaming Man, who was kind of scaring me. Meanwhile, everyone on the third floor was turning their faces toward me, and I wanted it to be clear that I was in no way involved.
Jennifer was there on the third floor. As I stepped over to her, I explained that technically The Screaming Man was in the right, and that Downbound Guy had committed a faux paux by using the wrong escalator.
Right then, we heard, "YOU COULD KILL SOMEONE YOU ASSHOLE!"
Jennifer: "Seems like an overreaction."
