Ism
Ramblus 13
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
I was just reading a forum post by imajinit regarding a little problem he is facing with a recovering roomate.
Normally I don't like to flash my credentials in a blog. It just seems a heavy handed way to establish onesself as an authority, but since imajinit's particular post is about a subject near and dear to my heart, I'm going to.
Now if you've read the post he made, you might be guessing I'm a social worker, or that I work with recovery patients. Well, the latter is partially true, for I, ladies and gentlemen, am a card carrying, full fledged, member in good standing of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have also been a notorious drunk with all of the lovely things that such a title confers upon its owner - multiple failed marriages, estranged children, loss of jobs, and most importantly, being the subject of many negative memories for many people.
Now, with all that in mind, I would like to state that the intent of this blog is twofold. One, I wish to put imajinit's mind at ease. Two, I wish to perhaps provide some insight. Dare I be so egotistical as to suppose I might educate someone? Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.
Maybe I'll even piss someone off, I dunno. I noticed I crept up to rank 169 from 170 today, and I don't want to become TOO popular around here.
I digress (as usual).
Alcoholism is far more than an addiction to alcohol. In fact the alcohol part is almost inconsequential if you can believe that. This is the general opinion of it, and fair enough. We alcoholics don't expect you "normies" to understand what this is like, and in fact, we're pretty sure it is impossible for you to.
Nevertheless, consider: Addiction to alcohol is a manifestation of what I prefer to simply call "Ism." And Ism is the catalyst for many addictive behaviors. There is no cure for Ism, but there are steps one can take to send Ism into remission and to keep it there.
Have you ever read the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous only later to read the 12 steps of something else and noticed they were strikingly similar? That's because they are both the solution to the same "disease" but with different manifestations as symptoms. Some people might drink too much, some might have sex too much, some might eat too much, etc...etc...
One of the dangers I encountered at the beginning of the recovery from Ism was a desire to substitute something in its place. Obviously this is not a recovery. If I say "Well, kicking booze was hard until I found heroin, and then everything was fine" you will find this comment easy to understand. The truth is usually a lot more subtle. Addiction to people or to God is far more common.
So. Ism is not by itself an addiction to one particular thing, so what is it?
I can only speak for me, but I will tell you many have told me their experiences, and they all match so far. The empirical evidence therefore suggests that Ism is caused by people that are very afraid of not being perfect to such a degree as to blame others for their problems (self victimization) with reckless abandon.
The solution therefore is to take ownership of your own life and your own actions and your own consequences and then live your life in a such a way that you continue to hold yourself personally responsible for these things on a daily basis. I don't want to over simplify recovery, but for the purposes of this discussion, that is enough.
In the forum post by imajinit, the roommate who used to be all messed up on alcohol is now all messed up on God and other people instead...which is different to him for some reason. He is transferring his problem (making bad life choices) and imposing the consequences on imajinit. This is not on the path to recovery. This, in fact, is the path to more Ism.
Imajinit, stay the course bro, and enjoy your beers. Even if you and your girl wanted to get snot-slinging drunk, it isn't your responsibility to make this guy's life easier. It's his problem, and if you change a thing about yourself, you'll simply enable his ability to blame his life on the world.
I'd like to state for the record, that I am happy I am a recovering alcoholic and that if they invented a cure tomorrow that would allow me to drink responsibly, I would refuse it. Coming to a place where I could deal with life on life's terms has been the most rewarding journey I have taken in my 41 years. I ask you to consider a few things...obviously you are not obligated.
If you know someone that is a notorious drunk, understand that you cannot lable them an alcoholic. They must do that. If they are bothering you, then you need to help yourself. You can leave their presence, or if it is someone you care dearly about, then seek counselling for you. Their path is their path, and there isn't a thing you can do to save them. "You can't not drink, shoot, screw, eat, gamble, work" for them.
Work? Oh yes, Workaholism is the same disease. See the "Ism" on the end? It's very insidious because unlike alcoholism where negative reinforcement for alcoholic behaviors is commonplace, you get raises and promoted for being a workaholic. Unfortunately, you still have a high chance of incurring the things I creditted to my own alcoholism earlier. Namely: multiple failed marriages, estranged children, and maybe not loss of jobs, but certainly, being the subject of many negative memories for many people. This is NOT a coincidence.
Addiction to food is a rough one I am thankful to not have. Imagine that you are addicted to something you need SOME of every day to keep you alive. What a hell. You have to kick the habit...but not kick it completely. Fortunately, the same cure will work if the patient is willing.
I ramble a lot...anyone noticed this yet? Probably all those brain cells I killed That's a joke, people..laugh. I am.
Have a great day, and if you're having a beer - Cheers!
Normally I don't like to flash my credentials in a blog. It just seems a heavy handed way to establish onesself as an authority, but since imajinit's particular post is about a subject near and dear to my heart, I'm going to.
Now if you've read the post he made, you might be guessing I'm a social worker, or that I work with recovery patients. Well, the latter is partially true, for I, ladies and gentlemen, am a card carrying, full fledged, member in good standing of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have also been a notorious drunk with all of the lovely things that such a title confers upon its owner - multiple failed marriages, estranged children, loss of jobs, and most importantly, being the subject of many negative memories for many people.
Now, with all that in mind, I would like to state that the intent of this blog is twofold. One, I wish to put imajinit's mind at ease. Two, I wish to perhaps provide some insight. Dare I be so egotistical as to suppose I might educate someone? Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.
Maybe I'll even piss someone off, I dunno. I noticed I crept up to rank 169 from 170 today, and I don't want to become TOO popular around here.
I digress (as usual).Alcoholism is far more than an addiction to alcohol. In fact the alcohol part is almost inconsequential if you can believe that. This is the general opinion of it, and fair enough. We alcoholics don't expect you "normies" to understand what this is like, and in fact, we're pretty sure it is impossible for you to.
Nevertheless, consider: Addiction to alcohol is a manifestation of what I prefer to simply call "Ism." And Ism is the catalyst for many addictive behaviors. There is no cure for Ism, but there are steps one can take to send Ism into remission and to keep it there.
Have you ever read the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous only later to read the 12 steps of something else and noticed they were strikingly similar? That's because they are both the solution to the same "disease" but with different manifestations as symptoms. Some people might drink too much, some might have sex too much, some might eat too much, etc...etc...
One of the dangers I encountered at the beginning of the recovery from Ism was a desire to substitute something in its place. Obviously this is not a recovery. If I say "Well, kicking booze was hard until I found heroin, and then everything was fine" you will find this comment easy to understand. The truth is usually a lot more subtle. Addiction to people or to God is far more common.
So. Ism is not by itself an addiction to one particular thing, so what is it?
I can only speak for me, but I will tell you many have told me their experiences, and they all match so far. The empirical evidence therefore suggests that Ism is caused by people that are very afraid of not being perfect to such a degree as to blame others for their problems (self victimization) with reckless abandon.
The solution therefore is to take ownership of your own life and your own actions and your own consequences and then live your life in a such a way that you continue to hold yourself personally responsible for these things on a daily basis. I don't want to over simplify recovery, but for the purposes of this discussion, that is enough.
In the forum post by imajinit, the roommate who used to be all messed up on alcohol is now all messed up on God and other people instead...which is different to him for some reason. He is transferring his problem (making bad life choices) and imposing the consequences on imajinit. This is not on the path to recovery. This, in fact, is the path to more Ism.
Imajinit, stay the course bro, and enjoy your beers. Even if you and your girl wanted to get snot-slinging drunk, it isn't your responsibility to make this guy's life easier. It's his problem, and if you change a thing about yourself, you'll simply enable his ability to blame his life on the world.
I'd like to state for the record, that I am happy I am a recovering alcoholic and that if they invented a cure tomorrow that would allow me to drink responsibly, I would refuse it. Coming to a place where I could deal with life on life's terms has been the most rewarding journey I have taken in my 41 years. I ask you to consider a few things...obviously you are not obligated.
If you know someone that is a notorious drunk, understand that you cannot lable them an alcoholic. They must do that. If they are bothering you, then you need to help yourself. You can leave their presence, or if it is someone you care dearly about, then seek counselling for you. Their path is their path, and there isn't a thing you can do to save them. "You can't not drink, shoot, screw, eat, gamble, work" for them.
Work? Oh yes, Workaholism is the same disease. See the "Ism" on the end? It's very insidious because unlike alcoholism where negative reinforcement for alcoholic behaviors is commonplace, you get raises and promoted for being a workaholic. Unfortunately, you still have a high chance of incurring the things I creditted to my own alcoholism earlier. Namely: multiple failed marriages, estranged children, and maybe not loss of jobs, but certainly, being the subject of many negative memories for many people. This is NOT a coincidence.
Addiction to food is a rough one I am thankful to not have. Imagine that you are addicted to something you need SOME of every day to keep you alive. What a hell. You have to kick the habit...but not kick it completely. Fortunately, the same cure will work if the patient is willing.
I ramble a lot...anyone noticed this yet? Probably all those brain cells I killed
That's a joke, people..laugh. I am.Have a great day, and if you're having a beer - Cheers!
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