When the whole world is against you. . .

maybe the problem ain't the world

from JoeUser Forums

Years ago, I frequented a gaming website's message board.  There was a particular character there who posted regularly.  His posts were often well thought out, eloquent, and quite entertaining to read.  He was easily one of the most popular members.

However, he also had a habit of becoming rather fierce when discussing political issues. 

Due to his status as a respected, long time member, he got away with murder.  There was a very strict "no personal attacks" rule in place, which I saw pulled out to ban numerous people.  Yet this one poster would make the same sorts of attacks, just using more flowery language.  Frankly, I got sick of it, and finally called him out on it.  The admins intervened and decided that, yes, he had in fact crossed the line and broken the rule.  He was given a brief "break" from the site (something along the lines of a 5 day temporary ban).

In a fit of righteous indignation he "stomped" off and never frequented the forum again.

I then discovered something interesting.  This was not the first time such an occurrence had happened.  As I frequented other message boards I would see his name mentioned, only to discover he had been banned as well.  There were at least 5 or 6 major gaming websites that this chap had been banned from for the exact same sort of thing.  This led to a realization:

If it seems the world is out to get you, perhaps the problem isn't with the world.

The global communication of the internet allows us all to interact and communicate with more people than ever before.  In this time, I have heard more "woe is me" stories than I ever would have thought possible.  There are some truly pathetic individuals out there.  Yet while some of them truly have just had some really awful luck, more often then not I have noticed the same as in the story above:

If everyone is out to get you, maybe the problem is you.

Call me naive, call me stupid, call me whatever you want.  The truth is, I just can't believe that all these people are "innocent" victims of circumstance.  We are masters of our own destiny.  We reap what we sow.  And while it sucks some times, I can look back on my life and see a correlation between harder times and my own poor choices. 

Of course, this sort of self-assessment is painful.  Likely this is why it is just so unpopular.  It hurts a bit.  Bit I swear by it.  If it seems that the whole world has turned against you, maybe it is time to look in the mirror.

misc
22,567 views 26 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'll be the first one to admit that I'm usually the reason my life gets shitty.

And that's okay with me.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Excellent article.

I totally believe this as well. It is always a lot harder, though, to see when we are out of line than it is to see when others are. Of course I always think I'm right; I like all my decisions. LOL. I guess that's the whole "can't see the forest for the trees" thing.

Offworld Trading Company
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Some people just like to trash other people, with flowery language. They're hard to get rid of, because nobody wants to call them on it... after all, with flowery language, how can you say it's an attack? But when someone finally does, they know it's over for them their, and move on...
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top

I'll be the first one to admit that I'm usually the reason my life gets shitty.

Hurts though, don't it?

Of course I always think I'm right; I like all my decisions. . I guess that's the whole "can't see the forest for the trees" thing.

Thanks for the comment TW.  And I agree.  I think we all like most of our decisions.  It is really hard in the middle of it to see if we are to blame.  It usually ends up, at least for me, to be that whole hindsight thing.

Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
"I guess that's the whole "can't see the forest for the trees" thing."

Also the speck in your eye and log in my eye thing.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yeah, that too, for the Jesus freaks among us.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Log, forest... where do you think your sayings come from?
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Too often "the sky is falling", when in reality many times the opposite is true. I guess we are all guilty of that at times to one degree or another. Doom and Gloom is the stuff of Blog-Land as it is i the media - *man strokes dog* ...... *click*
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Call me naive, call me stupid, call me whatever you want.


Even though you gave me permission and to deny it's very tempting is BS, I will contain myself from granting your wish to call you these names and more. lol lol lol

In all seriousness, I agree. The guy apparently won't learn till he is banned from every site and finds himself unable to express those "often well thought out, eloquent, and quite entertaining" posts of his. Talk about a lack of ability to learn from ones mistakes.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
well said.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
well said.


Who?
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
Ce que j'aime dans les erreurs, c'est que ça permet de multuplier et "fleurir" les explications. Comme les crimes font multiplier les lois...

What I like in the errors, it is that that allows multiplying and “flowering" explanations, as the crimes make for the laws…
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Who?


The question or the commentor? The commentor, that's Kelly. I believe she was saying excellent on the article. I'm responding cause I just came on and no other response yet.


But agreed, excellent Peter! It's like the Bee Gees song "I started a Joke". You don't know that the whole world is laughing at you til it's too late.
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
We are masters of our own destiny. We reap what we sow. And while it sucks some times, I can look back on my life and see a correlation between harder times and my own poor choices.


This is true not only of online forums, but of life in general. While a few of the poor in America have just had a bad run of hard times, the vast majority are where they are due to bad choices.

I'm working with a friend right now, trying seriously to improve their living situation before winter. This lady is a good person and a good friend, but much of her current predicament was predictable. I'll help her, of course, because she's got the biggest heart of anyone I know, but I just wish there was an easy way to tell her that she could have easily avoided this situation. Aaaaaaahhhh, well.
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
I believe she was saying excellent on the article. I'm responding cause I just came on and no other response yet.


Thanks Donna, that is correct.

Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top

What's truly ironic is that the type of person this was written about will undoubtably fail to recognize that it's about them, haha.

That is, of course, absolutely true LW.

Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
The question or the commentor? The commentor, that's Kelly. I believe she was saying excellent on the article. I'm responding cause I just came on and no other response yet.


Thank you. Just kinda wondered since it didn't point in any particular direction. I agree as well.
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
What's truly ironic is that the type of person this was written about will undoubtably fail to recognize that it's about them, haha.


Which is why it's best not to be vague, of course. Because the other extreme is when folks think EVERY article is about them.

I'm kinda prone to the last one, but I have tried to get over it.
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top

Which is why it's best not to be vague, of course. Because the other extreme is when folks think EVERY article is about them.

I find that, at times, a hard line to walk.  In this instance, there was a specific example (that I mentioned) that sort of led to general thoughts I had on the subject.  So I try to sort of fill in the gap between vague, general ideas, with the concrete example that sparked the thoughts.

Doesn't always work, of course.  But I try.

Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
So I try to sort of fill in the gap between vague, general ideas, with the concrete example that sparked the thoughts.


Right. And I thought you did well on it.

I know you had mentioned it before, and that you had seen patients that made you shake your head.
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top

whew!!! good thing I just flame outright and don't use flowery shit n stuff. Truth is "I am my own worse enemy" holds true for most, does for me for sure. AS long as me stays outta me's way, me is fine, it's when me gets in me's way that me becomes not so me. get me?

me out now,

 

 elie

Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top
whew!!! good thing I just flame outright and don't use flowery shit n stuff. Truth is "I am my own worse enemy" holds true for most, does for me for sure. AS long as me stays outta me's way, me is fine, it's when me gets in me's way that me becomes not so me. get me?
me out now,


Aw Ellie, you're such a bear! Bear hug time!  
Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top
Reply By: foreverserenityPosted: Thursday, August 30, 2007
whew!!! good thing I just flame outright and don't use flowery shit n stuff. Truth is "I am my own worse enemy" holds true for most, does for me for sure. AS long as me stays outta me's way, me is fine, it's when me gets in me's way that me becomes not so me. get me?
me out now,



Aw Ellie, you're such a bear! Bear hug time!
  {{{{{{{[donna}}}}}}}}}] gentle hugs back.
Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top
If it seems that the whole world has turned against you, maybe it is time to look in the mirror.


Even if it is cracked... The fixers quite often need fixing.