What Makes a Person "Good" or "Bad"?

Ones perceptions? Perceptions as taught to us by our parents, teachers and society?

Society generally perceives kindness, gentleness as good.
Someone raised on harshness and roughness may perceive kindness / gentleness as weaknesses and despise them.

For me a good person is of good conscience and pure of heart, or so I have been led to believe.

Ones perceptions? Perceptions as taught to us by our parents, teachers and society?

this question and response reminds me of the brilliant musical "wicked" on broadaway (tours, but tix are next to impossible to get) which is all about that question of what makes someone good or bad. it is the story of the witches of oz and in a nutshell, examines how they got to be known as the "good witch" and the "bad witch."

or ya can read the book if you are not a fan of musicals. which, by the way, i am not the biggest fan of, but that one was great.

While the words good and bad are so subjective as to be almost meaningless in the context of people, I think most of us as a species have some pretty common general ideas about what a good person or bad person is.

It primarily revolves around how a person treats other people and interacts with other people. Also, there are certain personality characteristics we generally see as good or bad.

Cowardice is generally viewed as bad by most people, while bravery is generally viewed as good.

Generosity is generally viewed as good, while stealing is generally viewed as bad.

Being affable is generally viewed as good, while being arrogant or unfriendly are viewed as bad.

For myself, I tend to think of someone who minds their own business but is friendly, helpful, and caring as a good person. A good sense of humor helps too.

Great topic and great comments. I will get a little philosophical and add my own personal quote from my writings:

" A good person puts a smile on the face of the beggar, the wounded, the ailing and every man he meets. He expects nothing in return except that smile, for he has made that person feel special and worthy--if only for a fleeting moment."

Our behavior towards others. especially those we have nothing to gain from.

Good people are selfless. Bad people are selfish. And there's a quantity of each in all of us.

For a lot of people, a "good" person is merely someone who isn't "bad"  We tend to define things by their negatives, it gives them more depth and seemingly more value when we encounter the good.  A good day for most people is a day where nothing bad happens.  A great day is when unusually nice things happen.  Good is sort of a status-quo, an "OK" sort of thing.   So a "good" person by how a lot of people seem to define things is someone who hasn't done a whole lot of bad stuff, or at least nothing major.  A great person, is one who goes beyond the sort of baseline expectation and does something special.

These are the people who make a positive difference in the lives of others.  I look at the comments above (and Jill's article) and I see a description more fitting of "excellent" people.  They don't necessarily have to have a massive impact, reaching many people either.  An excellent person could just touch one life to have mattered.

I think on the whole, it comes out like an adjusted grading curve from school, where the peak of the curve is at the "B" grade.  So most people are above the "good" line, with the largest portion remaining being "Ok" and a pretty small minority falling into "Bad" and "Terrible"

 

I think Shovel and MM said it best and succintly. I cannot add to their words of wisdom, except to affirm them.

My answer is that you will never know if someone on JoeUser (or any internet site) is good or bad.....because you don't actually know them.  Online people only present one persona of themselves.   No matter how much they SAY they are no different online than in real life (or how much they believe it is true), it's not at all the same thing, and you cannot judge someone online.

Actually, I know quite a few JoeUsers. A couple of them I haven't met in person but I can judge them by their actions (dharmagirl and Texas Wahine for example). There are a lot of good people here in my opinion. But like a lot of you have said, "good" is a very subjective term. That is exactly why I posed the question.

I'm enjoying the outlooks expressed here.

Good people are selfless. Bad people are selfish. And there's a quantity of each in all of us.

I agree to some extent but also disagree too. Being selfless isn't necessarily a good thing either. I think that they tend to be victimized a lot. I think that being a strong assertive person is an essential component of selflessness. Something that all the girls in this country need to learn. They don't need to be 'little ladies' they need to be their own person with just as much importance as anyone else.

I also agree with online personality differences. I'll admid I'm different online - but I think I tend to be more open and honest here in anonymity land than in person. I'm certainly not one to get into huge discussions/arguments in person, like I might do here expecially when it comes to christianity or religion. Of course this may reflect my need to ruminate on subjects before coming to a conclusion. I'm able to do that here. No one here's 'in my face' waiting for an immediate answer.

My advice for children would certainly be extreme caution when it comes to interacting on-line.

My advice for children would certainly be extreme caution when it comes to interacting on-line.

Anyone who's ever watched Dateline can say "duh!" to that.  We watch our kids on the internet very carefully and they know not to give any personal information out.

Something that all the girls in this country need to learn. They don't need to be 'little ladies' they need to be their own person with just as much importance as anyone else.

What generation did you grow up in?  I don't think girls in this country (the USA) have a problem with that these days.

Being selfless isn't necessarily a good thing either. I think that they tend to be victimized a lot.

I'll agree with that.  The term "doormat" ring any bells?  You can't be truly selfless or you will get no respect and will get used.  Everyone needs to be selfish in some ways.

 

 

 

Thank you for your post JillUser, this poses an intriguing paradox. On one hand, this INTERNET, we don't even use our real names. Nor are there consequences for ones behavior or character defects. However, I do side with your assessment of the two JoeUser,s you mentioned, if I too were using your criteria (which by the way, I find to be as useful as there is available, at this time).
On the other hand, in real life, face to face encounters, I allow everyone to stand on their own merit. Everyone has integrity to some degree or another. I personally gyrate toward the extreme high end of integrity as understood within my open circle of close net friends, meaning simply we do not wave a flag of integrity as a means of mere convenience when all else fails, rather we choose to maintain a sometimes complicated path which we find leads us sooner to our journeys end than byways, in which many lose themselves.
JillUser, simply put, when all is said and done, at the end of the day, can I look myself in the mirror and feel good about what I see looking back at me? I never sneak up on myself and I discovered long ago, I must like what I see because I must live with me! There are lines which I do not cross, ever. There is a point in which I will not go beyond and these are not negotiable.
I believe the environment is that which we enter into and the atmosphere is that which we create within that environment.
I hope you find this useful for you and your 10 year old son.
PEACE

I apologize for the double post. What I meant to say secondly, I have always found this most useful; One should never judge themselves by another, as you will never find a greater adversary than that of your own potential. In striving to become a better man this is as real as it gets.
PEACE

it still never ceases to amaze me the "rituals" that go on with my italian in laws that they base their "good vs. bad" meter on...

i learned real early on that when entering a room, you greet every person, esp. those older than you and kiss every woman on the cheek as you greet them.

now, if you do that, and no one has any personal grudge against you, you are a good person to the family hierarchy. this is regardless of any "outside" squabbles you may have with people not connected with the family or the law with very few exceptions.

but if you don't do those things, or the other little rituals that are expected when with the family, then it matters not if you are a nobel prize winner or simply the greatest individual on the face of the earth. if you don't show proper respect to the family, you are nothing.

Sounds like simple, if strange rules to follow.   

I agree that most people are indeed good people. I don't think I have a perfect definition for a good person...I just know that most people that surround me treat me well, care for, and respect me. They have no hidden agenda for being close to me...they just like me and accept me how I am.

I tend to think most people want to be good.....some are just better at it than others.

Definition of a good person ? Thats in the eye of the beholder. Attilla The Hun would probably have thought Hilter was a cool guy. A devout traditional Catholic will think the Pope is "The Man". The average crook will have no love lost for a Circuit Judge, but most non criminal types quite like them. Any definition must therefore be a simple fundemental one, that arguably can be used in any and all circumstances. So my take on it would be

- a person who has integrity

Integrity, a small word, but a huge amount flows from it.

Sadly very few of our Political & Religious Leaders pocess that quality [integrity]. The lack of it does not make them bad, but it very definitely does not make them good. The latter is a bit harsh maybe - but the word good should imply no compromises on principles .