“I’m tired of the city life, summers on the run
People tell me I should stay,
But I got to get my fun
Don’t try and hold me back
Aint nothing you can say
Snakes eyes on a pair of dice
And we’ve got to go to day…”
‘April Sun In Cuba’ - Dragon
I’m tired. It has been so hot here lately; it drains any energy, creativity or inspiration right out of me and leaves me feeling washed out and cranky. I’m tired of the city. Scratch that; I’m tired of a lot of the city dwellers. They litter and waste with impunity, they don’t have any regard for anyone else, they think it is their right to make as much noise as they possibly can, regardless of how late at night or how early in the morning it is and they are rude to boot. I can’t believe how rude some people can be. Not a ‘please’ or a ‘thankyou’ ever passes their lips. They push and shove and jump queues and then rant at you if you protest. I'm not a confrontational person but I refuse to be a doormat. So I say something and all I get back is "Fuck you, arsehole." This doesn't make me angry, it just makes me sad.
I want to blame the city; I want to blame the heat. I want to blame anything else but the people because I do believe in people, as a whole. But I’m kidding myself. When I see drivers throwing angry words and hand gestures at pedestrians on zebra crossings despite the pedestrians having the right of way, who can I blame? When I see school kids knocking older ladies down and speeding off on their skateboards without a backward glance, who can I blame? When I see shoppers who blatantly park in disabled car parks so they don’t have to walk so far to their favourite cafe, who can I blame? When I see older people who should know better smoking cigarettes then flicking their butts onto the sidewalk or into the gutters to be washed out to sea in the next rain, who can I blame? When it comes down to it, I can only blame people. But these days, ignorance seems to be excusable and cantankerousness an acceptable state of being.
I hear people say life in the country is different, that folk ‘out there’ are more polite, more forgiving and more down-to-earth. Then I read about yet another multiple murder on some remote property or some small country town and I start to wonder. I read about high unemployment, high suicide rates, high rates of alcohol-related violence and I start to wonder. I read about rural communities suffering because they’ve become part of the forgotten constituency, with politicians concentrating more effort on ensuring city infrastructures are maintained and I start to wonder. I read about country hospitals and schools suffering, of community-based programs suffering and I start to wonder. Would life really be any better or is it fallacies due to all that fresh air going to one’s head? If the city can hide me among the faces of thousands of others, then the country will surely make me stand out. If the city can provide me with more opportunities to have my say then surely the country will limit those immensely. I don’t know and I don’t profess to know. All I feel is tired; tired of not being able to say anything to defend my environment. I’ll feel better once things cool down, but for now, I’m tired.
