Do Schools Want to Crank Out Little Monochromatic Robots?

Texas Wahine

Join Date 08/2004

+127

Do Schools Want to Crank Out Little Monochromatic Robots?

My children's school has no dress code. That's right. None.

We see short skirts, little boys with earrings, mohawk hair cuts, band t-shirts, slippers (flip-flops), knee high boots, colored hair...you name it. It's very lax for an elementary school.

I can remember the dress code for my old high school. For several years we weren't allowed to wear shorts. Later sweat pants were outlawed (to be fair, this was because we were naughty children and anyone who wore sweat pants was pantsed). Sleeveless shirts were out for a while. The guys' hair could not fall past the collar of their shirts. Any t-shirt with words or graphics on it was subject to intense scrutiny (unless it said "Jesus" on it). Guys were absolutely not allowed to wear earrings.

When I was a Junior in high school I dyed my hair purple. Only two streaks were dyed because my parents weren't sure how the school administration would react. They tried to pull the "no unnatural hair colors" card on me, but it wasn't anywhere in the rules.

As a frustrated teen, tweaking my personal appearance was a satisfying outlet for me to express individuality.

When the trend was knee high socks and Mary-Janes, I felt comfortable in Doc Marten style boots, jeans, and a Kurt Cobain t-shirt.

I love that my children's school allows the kids to have the freedom to dress themselves in the way that makes them feel confident and comfortable. Oversight is the responsibility of the parents. Children don't have a say in much of the things in their lives that affect them, and I think that clothing and other appearance choices empower children and allow them to practice making choices without risking lasting harm.

All that freedom at my kids' school will soon be ending. Today I received a Dress Code Survey.

The survey offered three options in regards to clothing and three more for footwear and the instructions given were to discuss the choices with the children and then indicate my (parent) choice and their (children) choice.

For clothing the choice is a) conservative dress code (no midriffs, wide-strapped sleeveless tops, mid-thigh on pants/shorts/skirts),

school t-shirts in either one color for everyone or a choice of 4-5 colors, or c) school t-shirts in a single color per grade.

The conservative dress code is fine with me. I don't think it's too harsh. It enforces modesty, but that's not a bad thing. I really hope that other parents are like-minded, because I think the school t-shirt idea is sad.

For footwear the choice is a) closed toe/closed heel shoes only,

allow open toe shoes and sandals only if they have a heel or ankle strap, or c) allow any and all footwear to be worn.

The footwear might not seem like a big deal, but this is freaking Hawaii. Kids wear slippers. Adults wear slippers. We wear them to the park, to the store, to church, to funerals, to the movies, to school...everywhere. It's as much a part of the local culture as Zippys or Chinaman's hat. It's comfortable, it's convenient, and it's cheap.

Slippers can be bought for $2 and they last for a year or longer. The kids come home with grimy little red toes from running in the dirt with their slippers on. I love that. In the mornings, they grab their slippers from the porch by the front door and slip them on and we're good to go. Perhaps I'm being more sentimental than practical, but sneakers just don't seem right.

We'll see what gets approved. This is a pet project being put together by the newly created student council, and I applaud the children for working to shape the type of school environment that they want and for soliciting parent opinion, but I sincerely hope that the school uniform plan won't be implemented.

I want my children to be able to express themselves. They spend so much time complying and being told what to do. The least we can do is allow them to choose between the Darth Vader t-shirt and the Honu tank top.

misc

Locked Post

Advanced Search

Watch this post

Do not email me updates for this post Email me updates for this post

Successfully updated karma reason!

I wonder what the catalyst for this proposal was? Were some parents complaining? Is this a state thing, or a district thing?

I don't really have an opinion one way or another about them. My boys couldn't care less what they wear. Heck my ten year old fights with me when its time to go school shopping, and wants to know why I can't just do it on my own.

Shesh....in a few years he won't trust me to do that I bet!

Successfully updated karma reason!

Dynosoar:

Congrats on the feature !

Thanks.

It was a pleasant surprise!

1. Children might as well be prepared for "the real world", where appropriate dress is required, isn't school their "job"?

Like you, I look at school as being my children's job, but in the real world, you are generally able to make decisions about your personal appearance within the confines of the rules of your working environment.

For some people that may mean khakis and a logo polo every day and for others anything goes except sweat pants. With few exceptions, adults are still granted control over their personal appearance.

2. The haves v/s the have nots is a valid argument, keeping up with fashions is unnessasary peer pressure.

I don't feel like this is a relevant argument in our particular situation.

3. My experience with two kids in Catholic School was uniforms were CHEAPER than seasonal fashions.

Again, in this specific situation, the school t-shirts are likely going to raise the costs of dressing our children. And the school stands to make quite a bit of money from the shirts.

4. Extremes in fashion are disruptive( i.e. revealing), divisive( i.e., expensive), and sometimes threatening ( i.e., gang regalia). By removing the distractions education becomes the focus.

I have no problem with a dress code that sets practical limitations because of safety or distraction concerns. I think in our situation uniforms push it too far.

5. Uniforms provide a security measure in identifing non-students or non-faculty.

This is a good point, but not a pressing concern for my children's school.

6.. Our children are just that, our children. We are responsible to insure that they learn to be responsible adults, not pre-pubesent fashionistas, a facsimile of the latest Rap star, or Grunge wannabe.

Part of learning to be an adult is being responsible for yourself. Dressing himself is one of the most basic ways a child can learn this.

So it Goes........

Thanks for your comment. I especially appreciated the numbered bulleting. Very organized.

Gideon:

It is NOW. So YOU'RE the one to blame for that one! LOL

HAHAHAHAHAAHA...I started it, but I didn't finish it. By the time my brother was in high school my parents had loosened up, and he was sporting full on electric blue hair over his entire head. He also painted his finger nails black. Drove the school admin crazy.

Dress code is one thing, uniforms another. I'm quite frightened by the socialist undertones of a rigid uniform policy.
But mebbe that's just because I was raised during the climax of the Cold War (shrug!)

I agree completely. A dress code implemented with safety and learning in mind is fine with me. I really don't like the idea of uniforms. The aren't necessary here.

In fact, Adrian has suggested that the reason they're pushing for it is because they want to make a buck. Perhaps...

Successfully updated karma reason!

jennybean:

I can see how dramatic a new dress code might be for a school in Hawaii, considering how laid back I would imagine it to be.

Things ARE very laid back here. Ever heard "I'm not late, I'm on Hawaii time"? Hehe. Uniforms just seem unnecessary.

A little of the topic, what island do you live on? Since I am fairly new on JoeUser, I always wonder when I see your name. I am obsessed with Hawaii ever since I went, and can't imagine how awesome it would be to actually live there. Just curious

We live on Oahu, and it has been very exciting living here. I feel sorry for the people who visit because there's just no way to experience it all in a span of one or two weeks.

Which islands did you visit? We haven't been to any others yet, but I am seriously yearning to visit the Big Island.

Maso:

I also have a problem with the fact that uniforms don't provide the cild with a sense of individuality, which is an important characteristic for a young person to learn and respect in others as well as develop in themselves.

I agree 100%, Maso. While it's important for children to learn to respect authority and conduct themselves appropriately according to their surroundings and situation, it is equally important that children learn to develop their own interests and identify and work with their individual strengths and weaknesses.

And I don't want to underestimate the value of creativity, which is something that must be nurtured but cannot be taught.

You also bring up a good point about respect. Allowing children to look different helps them learn tolerance and respect for themselves and others.

Thanks for the insightful reply.

Dr.Guy:

I see your hiccup, and raise you an Amen!

Tova:

When we visited Hawaii last year we thought it was so cute how the kids at the elementary school were outside playing barefoot.....our Hawaiian "cousin" told us that shoes weren't a requirement....

Haha. It's bizarre and takes some getting used to...there are many stores where the "shirt and shoes" thing isn't a requirement. There are many places where things are extremely casual and natural.

I hope you all get to keep the more relaxed dress code. It seems a bit much for the island to have "dress" for school.

Thanks, me too.

Sarah:

Hey Tex, In answer to your initial question, yes, in more ways than one.

Haha. Sometimes I wonder!

Great article, and lots of good insight from you and others!

Thanks!

Tova:

I wonder what the catalyst for this proposal was? Were some parents complaining? Is this a state thing, or a district thing?

I have been wondering that myself. Our school is kind of weird in that while it's on a military base, it's not a DOD school. We do things differently from most of the schools on the island, though, and are one of the very few that still use the traditional calendar.

As far as I know, this proposal is coming from the student council...a new creation...and being guided by faculty and parents.

I don't really have an opinion one way or another about them. My boys couldn't care less what they wear. Heck my ten year old fights with me when its time to go school shopping, and wants to know why I can't just do it on my own.

I think my boys would like it at first...the novelty of it...but eventually they'll grow tired of having to wear the same thing every day.

Shesh....in a few years he won't trust me to do that I bet!

Haha. I'll bet you're right! I let my boys guide me when I buy their clothes, but they aren't all that interested. Once the clothes make it home, though, they have their favorites and things that they don't really like to wear.

I exercise oversight on the weekdays and on the weekends they wear whatever the hell they want, no matter how nutty, mis-matched, or ill-fitting! Hehe.

Successfully updated karma reason!

"Which islands did you visit? We haven't been to any others yet, but I am seriously yearning to visit the Big Island."

We went to Kauai, and are actually returning to visit again in March. I am counting down the days already!!!! It is incredibly beautiful and natural there. No tall buildings or hotels like on the other islands, which is what we like.

I also would like to visit Oahu and the Big Island, too.

Successfully updated karma reason!

I'm not sure why so many posters seem to think that allowing a child to reach into his dresser and pick the shirt he's going to wear that date equates some bloated obsession with fashion and disregard for education.We're not talking about wealthy elite teens and Gucci here...it's little military brats and Garanimals. Sure, the children can pick what they wear when they come home from school. And I can wash double the laundry. Win-win, eh? The message this sends to kids is that they can't even be trusted to dress themselves. Ugh.

No actually the messege this sends is that parents are the ones that can't be trusted. The way I see it an elementary child is not the one who buys the clothing, their parents do. If anyone is to blame for dress codes it the parents for not teaching their children how to properly dress when buying them the skimp skirts and provocatives tops. Like you, my concern is not my childs clothing, its everyone elses and I'm sure most will agree.

I will concern myself with EVERY aspect of my child's life. This is one of them. The condescending scolding is not necessary.

You people really do take things very literally here. It's almost as if I offended you with my opinion. BTW it's just my opinion and not an attack to you in specific.

3. My experience with two kids in Catholic School was uniforms were CHEAPER than seasonal fashions

.Again, in this specific situation, the school t-shirts are likely going to raise the costs of dressing our children. And the school stands to make quite a bit of money from the shirts.

Hold on, raise cost? Why? Don't you already spend money so that your kids have clothes to wear to school? So now you don't have to buy that clothes for school instead you buy the school T-Shirts. And since when is it a bad thing for the school to make money, wouldn't that also help the school give a better education and wouldn't that mean that the parenst contributed to that education as well? It seems to me that money seems to be the main concern here.

I have no problem with a dress code that sets practical limitations because of safety or distraction concerns. I think in our situation uniforms push it too far.

Perhaps you're making more of a big deal than it really is.

This is a good point, but not a pressing concern for my children's school.

So it's only important to address safety only when danger is more present? All this just so you child can look better and feel good about how he looks?

Part of learning to be an adult is being responsible for yourself. Dressing himself is one of the most basic ways a child can learn this.

A child never really dresses him or herself cause we, the parents buy the clothes and we also chose whether to allow them to wear what they pick or not. I would doubt that if your child chose to wear only his underwear to school that you would not allow him to do so just because he feels its more confy?

In fact, Adrian has suggested that the reason they're pushing for it is because they want to make a buck. Perhaps...

It is possible, but as parents you should make sure that money is put to good use and not spent on something like an expresso coffee machine in the teachers lounge for example.

Things ARE very laid back here. Ever heard "I'm not late, I'm on Hawaii time"? Hehe. Uniforms just seem unnecessary.

Keep in mind that your lifestyle is very different to many whos opinions, like mine, are opposite to yours. We all have more or less the same ideal in mind. Our childrens education. Life here in Puerto Rico ( this is also an Island and a Tropical one) and in Miami, where I use to live, are not laid back like Hawaii and so our opinions will be very different from time to time. I believe what you mean is uniforms are unnecesary for the lifestyle where you live at which may be true. I don't know, never been there, I'll take your word for it.

I hope you all get to keep the more relaxed dress code. It seems a bit much for the island to have "dress" for school.

I do as well.

Successfully updated karma reason!

In fact, Adrian has suggested that the reason they're pushing for it is because they want to make a buck. Perhaps...

It is possible, but as parents you should make sure that money is put to good use and not spent on something like an expresso coffee machine in the teachers lounge for example.

Actually, at the first school in this county to institute it, it was! They were more than happy to selll the parents the uniforms. Themselves! And not at cost! (Cost plus was what they called it).

Successfully updated karma reason!

Great Article! I think that there should be guidelines at a minimum. Maybe not 10 pages of dos and don't, but every child should understand the consequenses of wearing inappropriate attire (Sit in ISS so you don't disrupt the other students if you have an inappropriate t-shirt on?) but I lean towards a dress code/high standards for a couple reasons
HERE IS A BIG ONE....

I think my opinion is a little biased as I grew up in a family that couldn't afford the "right" clothes to ensure my acceptance in the environment where we lived. And kids are cruel. So with that bit of background plus a little bit of adult thought, I support school uniforms. It takes away that little bit of distraction that for some kids is a HUGE deal and allows school to focus more on what school is for: ACADEMICS! School should not be a fashion show.

That's the biggest reason I felt uncomfortable in middle school....I didn't have the "right clothes" Would a dress code have helped? Maybe not..

Brand names don't mean much here

I grew up on an Air Force base and brand names were a BIG deal. i think kids should learn to be more than what they wear, but the mom in me wants to protect my kids. It hink it's a growing experience to realize everyone isnt' equal and life ain't fair. Are we doing a disservice to our kids by taking away the challenges?

also have a problem with the fact that uniforms don't provide the cild with a sense of individuality, which is an important characteristic for a young person to learn and respect in others as well as develop in themselves

So what to do? A relaxed dress code that offers options maybe? I could deal with that. The schools here are testing a plan where the kids can wear collared shirts in red, white, blue, yellow and navy. Buttonup or polo style. Jeans on Fridays and nice pants/skirts the rest of the week. No logos on ANYTHING. Black, White sneakers or dress shoes

One of my problems with this is jeans. I'm a jeans type of girl and I think that clean well fitting jeans are fine for school (ditch the baggy pants please) The kids are playing so least them wear sturdy stuff! but the no logos issue is hard on the parents. How many shoes do you see without a logo? I know one mom who spent $30 on a pair of all white sneakers because everything else had a stripe or logo! That's a little excessive.

And the number one killer for military families.....moving from a no-uniform school to a uniform school in the middle of the year. Nothing you bought for your kid before is okay to wear and few places carry uniforms at a cheap price except in September. Try the reverse too....only have uniforms? How will it feel to suddenly go to a relaxed dress code school? The price tag for parents can be a shock there.

So would I vote for it? I'm still up in the air. No to the one uniform, maybe to a strict dress code and definetely to a responsible/average dress code.

*sorry I blabbered so long!*

money move

Successfully updated karma reason!

Just to add a little humor here. When I go to pick my kids up from school, and see the tiny skirts many of the girls are wearing, I can't help but wonder what the teachers thought of the panties the girls were wearing. Since those little school "desks" have no "modesty plate", I'm sure the teachers get an eyeful whether they want to or not. ;~D

Successfully updated karma reason!

You also bring up a good point about respect. Allowing children to look different helps them learn tolerance and respect for themselves and others.

Thanks for the insightful reply

Pleasure, Tex. I think this is a particularly good topic, especially after your post about Brian Deneke. Well done.

Successfully updated karma reason!