Banned for making history go backwards.

banned for joining the two step program

Banned for the horizontal tango is better than the two-step and the vertical cha-cha.

banned for planar sports

Banned for calling into prominence an ill-conceived dillywash that confounds our learned behavioural experts.

Banned for lack of D-words or other denizens of alphabet soup.

banned for alpha numerical standardization 

banned for traveling alternate dimensions 

banned for extra planar travel through an molasses medium in the middle of winter 

Banned for disassociated Pythagorean principles underlying the need for reminiscences about geomagnetic disturbances of the flatulent kind.

Banned for flatulence only comes from curried cap'ns.

Arrrh, but no.... not since meself an uvver cap'ns wivvin me sphere found these 'ere inboard n' outboard moters wot git us goin faster 'n ever.

Nah, them days o' bendin' o'er in front tha sails at tha crack 0' dawn after a night o' curried cabbage, well they be o'er now us 'aves these Mercury n' Evinrudes on 'and.

So banned fer tryin' ta bring vile n' guttural practices inta proceedin's wot 'aves mor decorum than that.