Banned for pocket billiards and nailing that corner poocket shot without looking... and with such a short cue, too.

Banned foor taking the pisss out of my inadveertant typoo.

banned for lame southern jokes

Banned for abstinence makes for an unhappy puppy.

banned for demanding an explanation of my whereabouts when I don't even tell my wife 

Banned for pork pies all year-round... and covering then with hot sauce.

Banned for pretending to be a weather expert when it comes to hot sauce, snow in the desert and very sultry conditions down at the ladies tennis club when it's Raining Men.

Nope, you're not even a meterologist's discarded weather map cos it had more lows than highs over all rained out Higgledepiggeldy in downtown Hogsville.

Banned for being too Scrooge-like with words and not posting more elongated, frivolous bans with far greater depth.

Banned for conning your keepers into unlocking your padded cell and taking your strait jacket off.

Also banned for associating me with a diatribe.  I'll have you know that my tribe is made up of hunters and gatherers and the odd gardener... and believe me, she is ODD!!!

Banned for omitting the munchkins and tweedledums.... not to mention the phorskins.

Banned for slinky rhymes.

Banned for falling up the stairs while climbing down the fire escape.