I do not know the details and would wait for a Dev to comment, however, I do believe that a lot was said about multiplayer in the heat of the moment following the DemiGod launch. So a) your plan might be doable even with them doing the hosting, and there may be other multiplayer options that we don't know about.

I don`t really see why not, as long as you`re both on at the same time. The multiplayer stuff hasn`t really been detailed yet though, except that it exists.

although one turn a day might be a little light...

In the early game, sure. But by late game on an Immense or Ludicrous map, a single turn could take an hour or more to work through. If everyone in the game lived alone, worked from home, and didn't go out for fun much, then maybe a couple of late-game turns a day could work. But it sounds about as hard as getting a crew of 'real grownups' together for a tabletop RPG--i.e. very hard.

So what I'm looking to do is just be able to log in for a few minutes, give my instructions and save the game.  If my buddy Pat hads already done his turn then the game would move to the next turn and I could fo that turn as well, if not, then I'd need to wait until Pat logged in ad updaed to go forward.

In my understanding, PBeM will be implemented.

Ah ok, I knew it was mentionned somewhere but it seems I jumped to conclusions.
I seldom use PBeM personally, but in my understanding it is a must have in long winded games such as Civilization, Dominions and incidentally, Elemental.

so very true.

I'm one of those play by e-mail people.   I used to do it in civilazation from time to time, and because of how long the games took we had to have it on the fastest game settings.  And the game would take the better part of a year still.  But it is a fun experiance.   I'm hoping that if not play by e-mail, some other (perhaps impulse related) system to allow for many players will be implemented.  I'm also hoping that the resource management and civ auto-mation is good enough that in such games you could in theory leave your civ unattended for a turn or two without massive damage from neglect.

Really though, I is not a must if such a thing is not possible    As long as you can save multiplayer games, we will be able to have long games.

Yeah, developing multiplayer for a game like Elemental and then leaving out the save feature would be a gigantic waste of time and resources, because multiplayer wouldn't be usable unless you only like playing the first 20 or 30 turns and then starting a new game...

So iy loks like there will be an option (play by e-mail) that will do what I want.  I'll have to wait and see but I am now less concerned.