Janders

Join Date 03/2004

Are you Anorexic?

Don't judge me!

Yesterday at work I had an older female cutomer (maybe in her fifties or sixties) tell me "I think you are anorexic".
I told her no... and she pressed on, "Well I am a dietician, and you look anorexic." I told her no and said "I have celiac disease, so it is really hard for me to put on weight."

I used to get upset and cry when people said this, but I am so used to their rude comments that it now just makes me mad. Where does she get off telling me how I look. Does she go up to fat people and say "Are you a binge eater, because you look obese." NO! So how is it okay to do the same to me?

EVERY single day I have to hear how skinny I am, I get bombarded with "Do you eat?" and "You are to skinny." People think its okay to ask me if I have anorexia, or tell me that my skinnyness is "gross" . If I had a dollar for every comment or question I got about my weight, you could call me Donald Trump.

I would never go to an overweight person and ask "Why are you so fat?" or tell them Your fat rolls gross me out. So why do people think it is okay to harass an underweight person about their weight?

For the record I EAT! A lot, and I eat food that is supposed to help you gain weight. I drink shakes with weight gain, eat McDonalds fries, ice cream, candy and chips. I eat these in addition to healthy food, and ofetn eat 5 or more times a day. I carry snacks on me and eat all day.

Being thin is not always good, not only do you have to hear endless comments and questions. It is really hard to find clothes, especially when you are tall (like I am). It gets embassassing to find out clothes are not made small enough in the brands you like, and even the 0 tall is to big and to short. It makes you feel like a freak of nature. Most womens clothes are made starting in size 2, and you often have to special order 0. Many companys start their longer inseams at a size 2 also and don't have a tall inseam available in a 0.

Next time you see someone skinny don't automatically think they are anorexic, it is unfair. Don't think when you see me eating, that I will just throw it up afterwards. I am not skinny by choice, so please don't judge me.

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I have a few friends who are skinny like that and they just are like that, not because they are anorexic nor because they eat very little. They do eat normally like the rest of us. They get offended when people make those kind of comments too, Janders. It's rude.

Insightful, Janders.

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Thank Raven, I am lucky to have friends that when we are out in public, and a stranger comments about me being thin, they defens me. Telling them that I eat a ton, and it's not their business. Then they tell me those people are just jelous. That doesn't always help, but somtimes does.

I feel most uncomfortable when customers at work say somthing, because I can't be rude back to them, or tell them its none of their damn business. That leaves a bad taste in my mouth, because I feel like they got by being offensive and rude.

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How rude!

Why do people think that a person's weight is any of their beeswax? My weight is my concern, and it's not open for public discussion, thank you very much!

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I agree... I would never ask anyone about their weight!

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I guess women who harrase you in that way envy you. It makes them easy to decide you are anorexic. So, don't mind.

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First question may be taken as concern, but second time is just harassing. Knowing the facts in profession don't mean that person knows everything that's going on.

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Even if it was concern, it was none of her business. She does not know me, its plain not her business......

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Lately I have had a lot of problems with people harassing me about my ears. Its frustrating. I know its not the same as your situation, because I CHOSE to do this to my ears.. but damn. People look at me like some alien thats going to eat their children. I always have people to my face tell me how gross it is, or get all condescending and ask me what Im going to do when I get old.

Here is a sample conversation from the other day:

Lady: Doesnt that hurt?"
Me: Nope.
Lady: Will it go back?
Me: I tried once, and they didnt.. but.. no big deal. I just put my jewelry back in. I figure that by the time I mind them I'll be able to afford to have them fixed.
Lady: Well, Thats a shame (Said with the tone of "What a shame for you to have to look like such a freak")
Me: No actually I dont mind it.
Lady: Well. Wasnt that THE THING TO DO for a while? (said with a tone of "How cool that you followed a terrible trend and now you're fucked up for life")

Yeaaaah. Whatever. I SHOULD just start eating their children.

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I was really skinny in high school. I guess too skinny. The school nurse called me into her office to have a "talk" with me.
She asked what my eating disorder was. I told her I did not have one. She didn't believe me. She even said she was going to call my parentsif I didn't confess.
I pleaded with her that it was genetic. She finally left it alone but then came to the conclusion that something was wrong with my liver. Not the case either.
Whatever.
I think people who are so quick to judge are probably jealous. That or they really are concerned but don't know when to leave it alone.

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oh, joey, i feel like i could have written this blog myself !.

i'm 5ft 8in tall and weigh around 47 kilograms (that's just over 100 pounds ... about 103 or 104, i think). i too have a medical reason for being small, and i too don't like being forced to discuss my health with a complete stranger just so i can stop their rude questions.

the female body is such an issue in this society. i even get some sicko women who ask me how they can lose weight 'cause they assume i want to have my bones poking out !.

it's an issue with family too, in that i don't often see my parents and grandmother, and when i do, it's always the same thing: if i look like i have gained some weight, they all congratulate me and tell me how 'nice' i'm looking , and if have lost some, they all fuss and fret and make me feel guilty for worrying them over something i have no control over.

the only advice i can give you is, next time somebody is rude enough to ask you if you are 'anorexic', just take a deep breath and calmly say: "thankyou for your misplaced concern, but this is just the size i am, and i take care of my body". nobody, least of all a rude stranger, has the right to force you to tell them anything personal about yourself.

be brave, my skinny little sister. i'm in this with you !!!.

mig XXX

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I'm surprised that people would be so rude. I think when dealing with rude customers like that, company policy should allow you to retort with something such as: "Why are you so ugly? Ever hear of plastic surgery?"

the female body is such an issue in this society. i even get some sicko women who ask me how they can lose weight 'cause they assume i want to have my bones poking out !.

This reminds me of a skit Margaret Cho did in which she was a girl in some Asian country that wanted to lose weight, and she noticed people who had maleria (or some other disease) were skinny, so she purposely contracted it.

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messy buu, i adore that you know mararet cho. she is one of my all time heroes. i have seen margaret cover the issue of weight and i think it should be mandatory viewing for the entire (so-called) 'civilised world'.

mig XX

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You really need to come up with a polite reply to such rude s.o.b.'s As you know I have been here and sorry for passing on the celiac gene to you. This is what I have said and will contiune to say.

"Thank you for your concern, I have a genetic condtion called celiac disease that makes it hard for me to gain weight. I do find your comments about my body (take your pick) rude, personal, insensitive, harassing. Do you feel free to make comments to people that are overweight?"

I love to watch them squirm, turn bright red. Some huff off, some apoligize, but I am sure all go away thinking about it and hopefully become less judgemental. Even though it is none of their business about celiac, I hope they become a bit more educated.

And for all of you that thinks she doesn't eat I think she put away about 3/4 pounds of steak on Sunday along with a ton of other food. She has always eaten a lot.

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I think every time I hang out with you, you go "I want McDonalds" and thats always the FIRST thing we do. Yummm.
We need to do that soon.

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Emo~ Why do people think its there business? I would never comment on someones body art unless I was complimenting it.
McDonalds... YUM! Now I think I need to go get some!

Brenda- In high school, I was lucky that all my teachers knew my parents and family and knew we were all tiny.. But when I went away to college, I had a few professors that were concerned, but most of them asked me in a respectful way.

Mig~ Hey we are twins! I am 5'8 and weigh 97 pounds.. I am REALLY trying to get up to that hundred mark, I have been there once before, but I was pregnant (that still counts though right!) Do you have as hard of time finding clothes? I don't know if it is an american thing, but we have so many overweight people here that they just keep making clothes bigger and bigger. When I was in Europe It ws much easier to find clothes, Is it the same in Austraila?
My family is hard on me about my weight, My grandma ussually makes a comment, how if I gained weight I looked healthy... My mom (yes you Ms. Jillie bean) Will somtimes make comments, but she is not one to talk, I don't think she has even hit 90 pounds in her life! To be fair to my mom, hers is all out of concern, since she knows more about celiac than anyone I know...

Messy- I think there should be policy, being that I feel it is harassment! They tell me I am being to sensitive about it, which is BULL!
Marget Cho cracks me up!
.
Jillie (mom)~ I think when we are together we are a bit more protected, because we are both so thin, I always think of awesome comebacks after I am away, because when they say somthing I am often so flustered by it!

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Mig~ Hey we are twins! I am 5'8 and weigh 97 pounds.. I am REALLY trying to get up to that hundred mark, I have been there once before, but I was pregnant (that still counts though right!)

it does. it does !. well done ! . here's hoping for next time

Do you have as hard of time finding clothes? I don't know if it is an american thing, but we have so many overweight people here that they just keep making clothes bigger and bigger. When I was in Europe It ws much easier to find clothes, Is it the same in Austraila?

i do have trouble finding clothes !. our sizing here is a bit different to yours, but i know american sizes as my sister lived in atlanta, georgia for 3 yrs. in australian sizing, the average woman is a size 14 (the sizes start from 8 - usually the smallest they make - up to about 24). i am a size 6 at best, and most stores start at size 8. the size 6's i do manage to find are always: too short (pants), too tight in the bust (tops), or designed for women who like to show a lot of flesh (i have had (mild) skin cancer and am pale, so i like to cover up).

i'm very, very lucky that my sister travels with her job and sometimes sends me the most beautiful t-shirts and jeans (i live in those kind of clothes) from europe. i was lucky enough to visit hong kong and vietnam once, and, oh joey, you would have loved the clothes as much as i did !. everything i looked at came in my size. i bought so many t-shirts i think we're still paying for them ! .

also, once i find something i like from overseas, i just scour e-bay for the brand if i know what size from it fits me. lots of girls seem to buy jeans, etc, and then onsell them on ebay, and you can get some bargains.

hang in there

mig XXX

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I have trouble finding clothes to fit me and I'm not as skinny as you and miggy. I'm lucky, I guess, because I'm shorter than both of you... I end up buying from the kids department. A size 14 years in kids clothing fits me just about perfectly. I used to be a size 3 (105lbs), and had a heck of a time finding clothes, but now I've gained a little weight (I'm just under 120 now) and I'm a size 5/6 things are easier. I hate buying 'petite' clothes, they always seem too short...but the regular clothes are always too long.

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Mig~ You know my shopping struggles! Have you ever tried H&M, their pants are not always long enough, but their tops are ussually a great fit.

Dharma~ I too shop the kids dept, Size 12 fits okay, except it is WAY to short. But I can ussually find pants that I can make into capris, or board shorts in the little boys department. (It is always nice that kids dept is cheaper too!) You are my Ideal size. I really want to be a size 5, I think that is perfect... A girl will dream, and keep eating those french fries!

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Emo~ Casey.. thanks to your yummy Mcdonalds comment I had a double quarter punder meal(no bun) fries and soda... and damn it was tasty!

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hahah I had Mcdonalds yesterday and Wanted it again today, but avoided it.

Sebastian and I watched Supersize Me the other day.. and.. I dont know. its just hard to convince myself now that eating it is as good an idea as it sounds.

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Just so you know I have been over 90 for the last 4 years. But no I am not touche' about the subject! lol

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Emo~ I had more mcdonalds today YUMMMMMM!!

Mom~ Sorry didn't mean it in a negative way... we don't call you mini-mom for nothing!

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Oh well i guess i can understand your exasperation. I'm just a lil lost with pounds and inches so i cant really tell what your size is

. But i get often remarks about my size. And it makes me feel abit self concerned cuz then i spend hours in front of the mirror looking at my bony shoulders and hoping that they'd look abit sexier, heh. I'm 45kgs for 1m68. Its not big but i like to think its not too small. I mean as long as i'm happy inside and friends like me for what i am not what i look, then WHO CARES!

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