I was just pondering on something........can you accidentaly fall asleep on somebodies shoulder when you're awake? I mean like, can you just accidentaly put you head on somebodies shoulder when you're awake? Just wondering, because this happened on Friday night on the way home from a football game on the band bus. Yeah I guess you could say it hurt me. To see what I saw. I don't know why I feel this way. I mean should I?? Even though it's the guy I admire the most, should I be mad at him when he knows that I like him so much?? I mean I'm not saying that this didn't happen on an accident, but hey who knows these days? I mean, you go into a mental break down and cry for practically the whole bus ride while wondering all these things. And then you have your best girl friend sitting with you telling you to calm down.
And then you're sitting there either punching the seat infront of you or punching yourself. In the mean time you still have your friend trying to get you to stop. But all this time you know or at least you have a clue that this girl that he's sitting with is doing this because everytime you like a guy and she finds out, she automatically has to like him too even though she has a boyfriend already. She knows this makes you furious, but you though she was your friend, but she goes and does this to you. and then she drags in another one of your friends that likes him too. She never wanted to hurt you in the first place, but made such good friends with this chick that now she wants to hurt your feelings and doesn't give a crap that you cry almost every single freaking night. So they talk about you behind your back, and you know this, but you don't say a thing to them about it. You never confront them once. So you go and talk behind their backs, knowing it wrong to do so, but at the same time you feel revenge towards them. You tell yourself it's wrong, but you can't stop. You just keep gettin hurt more and more as each day passes by. You know the guy you care for so deeply from your heart doesn't feel this way about you, but you just keep feeling for him. You can't stop. You don't know how to. So now you're going to keep getting hurt. Wondering if he'll ever ask you to homecoming or not. Just pondering...........
~carebear~
