dynamaso

Join Date 09/2004

+69

Thanks A Lot

Now I feel much better...

Christmas is a time of giving. We all know this; it has been one of the axioms of Christmas for as long as I can remember (it feels like a bloody long time too, particularly on Mondays). Last week, a local newspaper published an article on how much the average Australian would be spending on presents at Christmas (see the link at the bottom of this article). I was shocked and concerned. I was shocked because the figure is way higher than I expected and I was concerned because releasing this figure prior to Christmas can place an unreasonable level of stress on some people at an already stressful time of the year.

The sum: $857. Think about it… $857 is quite a bit of money. I have never spent that much at Christmas. It’s not because I’m a scrooge but because I was raised to believe it is not the gift but the giving that is important.

Let me break it down this way for you: hypothetically, $857 could buy my wife and I a wonderful week-long break at one of the beautiful little coastal towns north of Sydney, including accommodation, food, travel and spending money. Sure, we wouldn’t be staying anywhere particularly fancy. But we would be staying right on a beach, eating well and enjoying every second of the break. It could buy us a return trip to Auckland, New Zealand. It could pay our registration and insurance for the car. It could also buy a fresh water supply, family health care cover, primary schooling for a child, a small business loan, a community school and a toilet for a poor community in the third world.

But really, my concern is not over the amount of money but rather the undue stress it causes some people. For an increasing amount of people living below the poverty line here in Australia, just seeing this figure on the front page of a newspaper would have been a crushing blow. I must admit to feeling a little inadequate myself because there is no way I could afford to spend that much on presents. Of course, when I spoke to my wife about it, she brushed it off and told me not to worry myself with it. But I couldn’t brush it off that easily. I kept thinking about how this time brings more suicides, more depression and anxieties and more domestic violence than any other time of the year. Then I thought about how irresponsible and downright nasty of the newspaper to publish such a piece before Christmas. I wrote a letter outlining why I thought the newspaper was a bit like the Grinch, by putting a hurting on Christmas for a lot of people.

But then I realised the media hasn’t done anything different to how they’ve behaved during the rest of the year and maybe I was the one who had unreasonable expectations of them. It certainly didn’t make me feel any better about not having enough to even rate as an ‘average’ Australian, but at least they didn’t shock me by behaving out of character. That would have been too much for me to take.

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Come on dyno, this is nothing but bunk. First, we are talking an average here - so the person with $100 is averaged with the person who has thousands to spend, so what?!

If you were to take an individual person within a given family, who was unable to meet the families "expected level" of gift giving, then yeah, I'd say that you'd have a point. Hell, I don't expect anyone to match my level of gift giving anymore than I'd expect to match anyone else's.

Do you really think that an increase in suicides could be related to this story? Or that it would cause stress or anxiety?

I'll bet that you'll find that suicides at this time of the year are as a result of loneliness and disenfranchisement from one's family - whether caused by the suicidal individual, or someone else in the family - not by one's inability to meet a published average dollar figure of gift giving in the newspaper.

If it makes you feel inadequate man, the problem is with you. But to call them nasty and irresponsible is totally uncalled for. Crass, maybe. Poor taste, arguably. But assign the problem to where it really belongs - the individual, not the newspaper.

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this is nothing but bunk

Well, stranger, I guess your definition of bunk is completely different to mine. Did you even look at the link. All I was doing was expounding on the published article.

Do you really think that an increase in suicides could be related to this story

No I don't, of course. But I didn't say that either. What I said is that

I kept thinking about how this time brings more suicides, more depression and anxieties and more domestic violence than any other time of the year

Now, while I can't quote exact figures of such, the Christmas period has long been held as a time of the year when the above social disorders actual do rise. Obviously you misinterpreted me. I am not saying 'the newspaper' caused this figure to rise. Where did you get that from?

suicides at this time of the year are as a result of loneliness and disenfranchisement from one's family

I don't necessarily agree with this. Sure, the points you raise regarding loneliness etc are also pronounced but financial pressures are much more pronounced this time of the year too, if you think about it. Having a figure such as this published in a popular daily newspaper DOES give it credence to a lot of people, regardless of what you or I might think.

to call them nasty and irresponsible is totally uncalled for. Crass, maybe. Poor taste, arguably.

You say e-ther, I say eye-ther... I think the newspaper publishing the article IS irresponsible, callous and, yes dammit, nasty. It is how I saw it. As for my inadequacies, if you have read any of my blogs here, you would KNOW I wasn't being serious. I think if you looked back at the overall tone of this article, you will see a certain amount of irony.

Thanks for your comments.

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With 4 kids, I easily surpass that every year. But then, I do have 4 children.

Just remember, you dont have to spend that much. Unless you want to buy for my children as well. Can I send you their address?

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Well stated, dyna.

When I was younger, and much more greedy, I was all about the quantity and the quality of the gifts. I wanted a LOT and I wanted good ones, too, dammit.

Now, frankly, I'd rather you kept your gift to me and bought something for yourself so I don't have to buy you one. I'd rather spend and afternoon with you doing something we both enjoy together than having to buy a gift. I'd rather make a memory than buy you something you hate.

But, being that it's Christmas, I ask people what they want, they tell me, and I choose one or two small gifts from their list, and give them. I might choose one gift and try to find something funny or meaningful to that person. For instance, my sister asked for a game (that I couldn't find where I live, so I had my mom purchase it for me so I can give it to my sister), and I found her a t-shirt that's HILARIOUS that only her and I will understand that she'll love. My mom's getting pajamas and perfume. ANd we're driving 1000 miles to see them. And that's plenty. It's about time, not money. ANd I'm glad about that.

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DG...maybe you should have spent your Christmas money on birth control...lol...just kiddin around.

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Doc,

Unless you want to buy for my children as well. Can I send you their address?

Oh, nice try, Doc, but I'm afraid it would be too late by the time I got their presents to them. You'd have 4 very angry children pounding on your door asking why they didn't get anything. Besides, I've no idea what to get them.

Marcie,

I have a large family and by that I mean ten adults (4 siblings and partners and my parents) and ten nephews and neices. There is also my wife's parents. If we had to buy gifts for them all, we'd have to start shopping in January, just so we could afford it all. As it is, we do a 'Kringle' christmas, where the names of all the adults go into a hat. Whoever pulls out my name has to buy a present for me to an agreed sum. My nephews and neices do the same for each other. It works out well as we can get a quality gift instead of spending stupid amounts of money on small things for everyone.

And we're driving 3 1/2 hours to see them all too.

It's about time, not money. ANd I'm glad about that.

Exactly... And I'm glad too.

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I have a large family and by that I mean ten adults (4 siblings and partners and my parents) and ten nephews and neices. There is also my wife's parents. If we had to buy gifts for them all, we'd have to start shopping in January, just so we could afford it all. As it is, we do a 'Kringle' christmas, where the names of all the adults go into a hat. Whoever pulls out my name has to buy a present for me to an agreed sum. My nephews and neices do the same for each other. It works out well as we can get a quality gift instead of spending stupid amounts of money on small things for everyone.

I love this idea for a large family as well Mark. We do this in our offices around America, the idea of it for families with too many people to do the same thing is really great! Especially if everyone will be meeting up too.

I think when the media does do reports like that, it might cause a bit of stress as you say for the person who doesn't know any better than to let what they read worry them. And that person might just think about what they can't afford to buy for their family members, even if they're not even going to spend all that much.

Think about this too, the media, advertisements, commercials on TV, those are nothing but strategically placed gold diggers! Kids see them, they get excited and that's all they bother mom and dad about. It's hard enough to get them to really remember what Christmas is all about, without being overly influenced by the media.

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Can I get a Rain check for next year?

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It's hard enough to get them to really remember what Christmas is all about, without being overly influenced by the media.

Well said. I think you've stated the crux of what I was feeling. Heck, Toni works in media and she understands exactly where I'm coming from about this. Its alright for well paid journalists to write tacky articles like this but at some point, they should be made aware of the potential consequences of such.

Doc,

Can I get a Rain check for next year?

Yeah, sure, and I'll swim the presents across to you and save postage

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I really hate the shopping aspect of Christmas anymore. Don't get me wrong, I want to give my loved ones something special, but sometimes I just don't get the right gift.

We are really trying, my immediate family that is, to really honor the season with time spent together. Watching Christmas movies, skiing on the mountain, singing songs and just hanging out. My boys love when we do something like that and are really starting to look forward to the new "time spent" memories.

My favorite is when we read the Christmas stories.
I'm glad I am not the only one who feels like this. Thanks for the article Maso.

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Kelly,

I hope you create some very special memories for both you and the rest of your family. We're spending Christmas interstate, staying with one of my brothers. His youngest, and the youngest of all my nephews and neices, is just 4 years old. We want to be with him and capture some of the infectious Christmas excitement only 4 year olds can generate. It should be a lot of fun.

Thanks for the article Maso.

And thanks for your response...

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You know, nowadays even people who CAN'T afford to spend a huge wad of cash on Christmas DO.

Of course, it is stressful thinking about paying off Christmas purchases over the following months, but I don't think a lack of cash is a hindrance for most people. Heh, at least not for those of us who are not quite the most fiscally responsible.

Every year we say we'll scale down the expense of the holiday, and every year we fail to do so. I love how much the kids enjoy opening the packages, though, and it is a treat to see how happy and surprised they are when they get something they want but didn't think they'd ever have. I guess I'm far too sucked in to the materialism!

Interesting article, maso.

PS - I got yours and Toni's card today. Thank you! The boys were excited to have another card from Australia. I think it's pretty neat, too.

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We set a dollar amount on what we spend on each of our kids. I'm a little freaked out this year because my oldest only has about 4 things to open. Everything he wanted was expensive.

Meanwhile my 3 year old will have tons of things to open.

My husband told me to get over it. Better to have a few gifts that mean a lot for my oldest than a bunch of junk.

Still it bums me out that he has grown past the twenty toys to open stage.

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We set a dollar amount on what we spend on each of our kids. I'm a little freaked out this year because my oldest only has about 4 things to open. Everything he wanted was expensive.

Heh, that's usually the plan for us, but we couldn't stick to it this year. We bought presents while Adrian was home on leave, and I think knowing he would miss Christmas made both of us go a little overboard on the gifts. These deployments really make us do nutty things.

I like for the boys to open an equal number of presents, but you're right...better a few gifts that will be appreciated and used than a bunch of junk that won't be played with more than once.

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at least not for those of us who are not quite the most fiscally responsible

Oh I'm hardly fiscally responsible... I am the sort of bloke who things the best way to balance an account is make sure you have something of equal weight on the other side of the scales

I know a lot of us tend to live beyond our means in the, dun, dun dah... Credit Zone! It is scary how much we all rely on credit but I think if we all decided to only ever spend what we earn, economies around the world would collapse.

Toni and I are seriously talking about having a presentless Christmas next year and donating the money we'd normally spend on presents to a charity. Hell, we don't want for much at all. Most years, I'm hard-pressed to give anyone any ideas for things to buy me, apart from the obvious 'night with Angelina Jolie' schtick.

I'm pleased you got the card. Toni (and me too) would really love to see a picture of Bella and the koala but in your own time, honey. All the best to you and yours.

Tova,

We too set limits for our 'Kris Kringle' depending on the sort of year we've all had financially. If we have all had a good year, we spend a little more. If not, we spend a little less. I'm sure your eldest will understand what is going on. I bet so long as he got what he asked for, he'll be more than happy.

BTW I sent your parcel late last week. I don't know if you'll get it before Christmas, but here is hoping.

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BTW I sent your parcel late last week

WOOT! I'll keep an eye out. Thanks.

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Maso,

Spending over $800 for Christmas would be alot for me. There has been some years I've gone way over and some years I spent way less. You know what the difference celebrating-wise was? Nothing. Every year I got to spend it with people I love and, to me, that's all that mattered.

Now saying that, I'm sure I'll go crazy with spending as soon as I have kids.

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Tova,

Thanks

My pleasure.

uDigIt,

You know what the difference celebrating-wise was? Nothing

Exactly my thoughts. But so many people would be affected by the pressure to live up to expectations. I've never spent that much on Christmas presents. I might if I had that sort of money sitting around but at the moment, not at all.

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Ok, can I adopt you and Udigit? Godfathers!

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can I adopt you and Udigit

Sure... What did you get us for Christmas, Daaaadddy?

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