Well if none of that works you could always try waxing. |
I can just see Mason now, spreading that Nad's crap all over his face . . . the look of horror as he rips his flesh off . . .

Incidently, I've seen that stuff in action one time. When I was living in Farmington, New Mexico, there was this guy I knew that was about the hairiest man I've ever seen. He was like the missing link or something, because he was hairy like unto a gorilla. Anyway, he was moving away and we wanted to Nad's his whole upper body before he left. So the night before, we ran to Walgreen's and bought two packages of the stuff, and began smearing it all over him, first on his chest.
And we ran out. Two packages got just the front of his chest done - nothing on his sides, back, or arms. He looked like he was wearing a cardigan made from his own hair. Gross.