I wrote the following poem in response to a number of articles I've read, both here and in regular press, about the decay of manners and courtesy. I must apologise in advance to any Milan Kundera fans who might take offence at the title of my blog and of the following poem. Neither are meant as a slight on his wonderful book, which happens to be one of my favourites.
The Unbearable Lightness of Being A Wanker
As I walked in, you were walking out
With your arms full of shopping
Towing a child
I held the door open out of politeness
You only stopped to say
You could have done it yourself.
You’re a wanker
I was talking, my boss was listening
We were discussing a work matter
Something important
You walked in and interrupted
Without any consideration
To spread some silly gossip
You’re a wanker
I was walking, you were driving
One hand on the wheel, the other holding a phone
It was raining
You ran the pedestrian crossing
Without even slowing down
Lucky for me I was paying attention
You’re a wanker
I was on the sidewalk, minding my own business
You came in the opposite direction, pushing a pram
The sidewalk was crowded
I moved to one side to allow an old lady to pass
You used your pram to batter her out of the way
She nearly fell over, but you didn't see
You're a wanker
I was trying to park, you were trying to go
I was taking my time turning into the space
It was pretty tight
I didn’t want to scratch my car
You leant on your horn
Because your time is so much more valuable than mine
You’re a wanker
You look at me when I call you out
Like I’m the one with no manners
I don’t know think you’re self-aware enough to realise
Just how inconsiderate you are
At least children have an excuse
But you’re far from a child
You’re a wanker
You’re a stain that should have been left on the sheet
Of your parent’s bed
Don’t blame them; don’t blame anyone but your selfish self
Your parents might have thought they has a son or a daughter
But all they got is a society abuser
The sooner you realise, the better it will be for all mankind
You’re a wanker
